Underneath it All
by Cordee
Summary: She said she didn't miss him anymore. So, he's trying to move on. They're meant to be, but their insecurities keep driving them apart. When Brooke finally faces up to reality, will she and Lucas be able to find their way back to each other?
1. Brand New Low

**I know, I know. Yet another story about Brooke getting knocked up. I have a bit of a soft spot for Brucas baby drama, so I decided to write my own version. I'm picking it up where season 3 left off, except for one important difference – Keith is still alive and Karen's not pregnant.**

**Brooke and Lucas still fell apart anyway. I thought it would be interesting to explore how they dealt with an unplanned pregnancy in light of their broken relationship. They each have issues, they're hurt, they're confused. And adding a baby to the mix doesn't make things magically better.**

**This is going to be a fairly short fic (10/12 chapters max.) and I already have almost half of it written. **

**So, let me know what you think!**

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**Chapter 1 – Brand New Low**

"_Nothing is what it seems to me. You're sleeping without the dreams. Without you, nothing defines me. When I'm slipping away, it's only you that can find me. And I'm over my head...I'm falling from end to end." – Treble Charger_

Brooke sat in her car, staring blankly at the students milling around the front entrance of Tree Hill High. Usually, she was at the center of everything; now she was completely disconnected from it all. She desperately wished she could be like them...but she never really had been like them and she never would be. Especially now. With that oh-so-cheerful thought, Brooke returned to passively observing her fellow students going about their day. It was strange – she never really noticed them before. She supposed she was too wrapped up in herself and her own personal drama to care about anything or anyone that fell outside the scope of her attention. Things were different now. _She_ was different, now. Ignoring things that she once deemed 'unimportant' had come back to bite her in the ass big time...

Over the past couple weeks, she'd developed a strange fascination with her nameless peers. Every morning, she would sit and stare at them and wonder about their lives. Were they happy? Sad? Lonely? Angry? Did they have parents who loved them? Ignored them? Abused them? Were they in love? Heart-broken? Were they suffering in secret pain? Did they hide behind masks to get through the day? Or were they all actually as normal as they seemed?

So far, everything seemed to be the same every morning. No one else appeared to be screaming in agony inside their own head like she was. Brooke wasn't sure if this was necessarily a good thing. It made her feel more alone than she had ever felt in her life.

Some were gathered in groups, excitedly chattering before the beginning of the day; while others were alone, tiredly trudging in from the parking lot or sitting on benches, frantically cramming for a first period test. She saw groups of giggling girls, a couple of jocks tossing a football back and forth, some skater kids lounging on the front steps and the smokers gathered at the edge of the parking lot.

But it was the young couple that captivated her full attention. They met in the same spot every morning; underneath a large oak tree. They would wrap their arms around each other; laughing, talking, kissing. Today, the boy was gazing down at his girlfriend, lovingly. They were completely immersed in each other, as if the rest of the world didn't exist for them. Brooke sighed, longingly. Lucas used to give her that look; like she was the only girl in the world – the only girl for him. Too bad it all turned out to be a lie. Brooke envied them. They seemed so happy, carefree. Then again, who knew what deep dark secrets they carried? Maybe beneath the surface, things weren't what they seemed. Maybe the boy didn't let the girl all the way into his heart. Maybe he was always off rescuing her best friend when she needed him the most. Maybe her best friend was in love with him and was waiting to snatch him away...Brooke heaved a sigh and leaned her head back. Maybe she was just going insane.

She looked down at her flat stomach and placed her hand on top of where she thought her baby would be growing. She 'spent the last two weeks thinking about what she wanted to do. Was she ready for a baby? What kind of mother would she be? Could she really do this? She had no answers to these questions. But, she did know one thing: she wanted this baby – Lucas' baby. Somehow, over the last two weeks she'd fallen in love with the being growing inside of her. She was keeping it, even though she knew she would most likely be raising it alone. So far, the only person who knew about the pregnancy was Rachel and surprisingly, the redhead was keeping the knowledge to herself. For now. Unfortunately, Brooke wouldn't be able to hide it for too much longer. She was having trouble buttoning up her favourite jeans, already. It wouldn't be much longer before she was sporting an obvious bump.

She sighed and chewed nervously on her bottom lip, trying to gather the courage to leave the safety of her car. She had to walk into the school and pretend she was perfectly fine; that her heart wasn't broken. That she wasn't pregnant and too scared to go to a doctor. That she was okay with seeing Lucas and Peyton wrapped up in each other. That she didn't notice the pitying looks she received from other girls, or the leering grins from the guys. They were all expecting for her to revert back to her old ways. They were waiting for her to fall. Even though she somehow made it through each and every tortuous day since she broke it off with Lucas, it was beginning to wear her down. It was getting more and more difficult to pretend; especially after the whole mess at Tric last weekend.

Brooke shook her head, trying to clear away the unpleasant memory of her confrontation with Lucas. It was bad enough that she could still feel the piercing glare of his icy blue eyes slashing her heart as he demanded to know if she was pregnant and hiding it from him.

She groaned and leaned her head against her steering wheel. When did everything get so complicated? Brooke agreed to take the heat for Haley's pregnancy – just until Haley gathered the courage to tell her husband, not knowing she was pregnant, herself. Then, she found out that she really was having a baby, but pretended that she wasn't. She lied to the father of her baby about its existence. She was just so mad at him! He could be so goddamn self-righteous at times. Lucas would never forgive her for lying to him. She smirked, thinking how ironic it was that Lucas hated people who lied when he was a pretty good liar, himself. Now that Haley's secret was out, no one suspected that Brooke was actually knocked up as well. She closed her eyes. Her head was hurting just thinking about the whole convoluted situation.

Maybe it would just be easier to run away from all the drama. To leave Tree Hill far behind and start a new life with her baby somewhere else. It was so tempting.

A knock on the driver's side window distracted her from her thoughts. Brooke looked up, startled to see Haley smiling at her.

Brooke returned her smile and got out of her car. "Hi Tutor-Mom-to-be."

Haley laughed and gave her a hug. "That's quite the nickname, Tigger. Wouldn't it just be easier to call me Haley?"

Brooke tilted her head to one side. "Now what would be the fun in that?" They started walking across the parking lot towards the school.

Haley's warm brown eyes softened as she regarded her friend. "How're you doing? I haven't seen you outside of class much."

"Oh, I'm fine. You know how it is – places to see, people to do." Brooke replied, airily.

Haley frowned and shook her head. "Let's try this again. How're you doing, Brooke? Really?"

Brooke sighed and her shoulders slumped forward, slightly. "You know me too well."

Haley put her arm around Brooke's shoulders as they slowly walked towards the school. "You're one of my best friends. I can tell when something's wrong." Brooke remained silent. "I'm not going to push you to talk to me, Brooke. But, you might feel better if you do; maybe I can help."

Brooke fixed a smile to face and was just about to reassure Haley that things were just great when she caught sight of something that made her blood run cold. She froze, unable to move a muscle and her fake smile slipped from her face. Lucas and Peyton were walking straight towards the same entrance she and Haley were standing outside of. They were smiling at each other and Peyton laughed at something Lucas said. Then she saw it – the look. He was giving Peyton the look that was once reserved just for her. Brooke's eyes filled with scalding tears and she gripped her Calculus textbook tightly to her chest. They only broke up three weeks ago...and he's already moved on to _her_. All those times he'd insisted that Brooke was overreacting; that Peyton was just a friend. He had been in love with Peyton the whole time. He never really loved her. She was nothing to him. The bastard had gone and proven her right.

She tried to catch her breath and stop the tears from falling from her eyes. It was a losing battle. "You can't help me, Haley. Not this time. Only one person can...but as you can see, I never meant anything to him." Brooke whispered, wiping a stray tear from her left cheek.

Haley followed Brooke's gaze. She pursed her lips, observing Lucas putting his arm around Peyton and kissing her on the temple. Haley couldn't believe her brother-in-law was acting like such an oblivious ass. She drew Brooke into a hug. Brooke turned away, burying her face in Haley's shoulder. Haley felt tears spring to her own eyes and she just held on to her friend tightly. She hated seeing her Tigger in so much pain. Haley looked around, hoping to see Nathan, but he was probably already inside. She caught sight of Lucas and turned her head away, ignoring his questioning glance as he and Peyton passed them by. _'Nice. They can see Brooke's upset and they both just walk on by. Assholes.' _Haley glared at their retreating backs.

"Come on, Brooke. Talk to me." Haley rubbed Brooke's back, soothingly. "Hey, it can't be worse than getting married, knocked-up and thousands of dollars in debt before the age of eighteen." She said lightly, trying to make Brooke feel better. Unfortunately, her joke fell flat, judging by the devastated expression on the brunette's face.

"How about being unmarried, knocked-up and completely alone before the age of eighteen?" Brooke whispered, brokenly.

Haley's eyes widened and she squeezed her friend tightly. "Oh, Tigger," she sighed, glancing around as the warning bell rang out. Luckily, there was no sign of Principal Turner or any other faculty member. No one had seen them, so she could get Brooke back to the apartment and call in sick for both of them. "Let's get you out of here."

A ghost of a smile flickered across Brooke's face and she pulled away from Haley's embrace, wiping at the wetness on her cheeks. "YOU are actually suggesting that we skip school, Mrs. James-Scott?"

"This is more important. You were there for me when I needed you. It's time I return the favour." As the two girls walked back to Brooke's car, Haley pulled out her cell phone and sent a quick text to Nathan. She didn't want him to realize that she wasn't at school and start panicking about the baby. Then, she silenced her phone, so she could focus her attention on Brooke.

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An hour and a half-pint of ice cream later, the two friends were seated comfortably on Haley and Nathan's living room couch. Brooke leaned back her head and closed her eyes.

"That ice cream sure hit the spot." Brooke sighed, rubbing her abdomen. "This is the first time I've been able to eat something before lunch and actually keep it down."

"How long have you known about the baby?" Haley asked, bluntly.

Brooke opened her eyes, deliberately avoiding Haley's gaze. "I found out two weeks ago." She replied, softly.

Haley nodded, remembering that Brooke and Rachel had both missed a couple of days of school that week. At the time, she assumed that the two roommates were simply at home nursing hang-overs. Haley was ashamed; she should have realized something was seriously wrong. She should have pushed Brooke to talk to her, sooner. "How far along are you?"

Brooke was staring at a framed photograph of Haley, Nathan, Lucas and herself propped up on the end-table beside her. It was taken the day of the wedding. Brooke blinked. Was it only three weeks ago? It seemed much longer...she was already pregnant then and didn't even know it.

"Brooke?" Haley placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, rousing Brooke from her reflections. "Sweetie, how pregnant are you?"

"Um...I...don't really know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Haven't you gone to a doctor, yet?" Haley couldn't hide the surprise in her tone.

Brooke shook her head and stared down at her hands. "No. I just – if I went to a doctor, it'd seem more real." She raised her head and met Haley's eyes. "I'm a bad mother already, aren't I?"

"You're not a bad mother. You're just scared." Haley replied. "It's perfectly normal. Look how long it took me to face up to my own pregnancy."

Brooke bit down on her lower lip. _'Not nearly as long as it's taken me...'_ she thought to herself, remembering her three missed periods. Haley would have a fit if she knew how long she'd been avoiding facing the situation.

"You need to make a doctor's appointment, Brooke. It's important...You can't make any decisions until you know how long you've been pregnant." Haley took Brooke's hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. "You need to face this. You can't run away from this or pretend it's not happening, because it is. Trust me, I know."

Brooke nodded. Haley was right, as usual. She couldn't hide from this. She was going to be someone's mother. She was determined to be a better mother to her baby than her own mother was to her. From now on, her baby came first. No matter what.

"I'm keeping my baby." She whispered, placing a protective hand on her stomach.

"Okay..." Haley nodded firmly, giving Brooke's hand another squeeze. "Let's get you to a doctor so you can make sure the baby's healthy and to find out when you're due? Huh...wouldn't it be funny if we had the same due date?"

Brooke smiled, weakly. Since Haley was only eight weeks pregnant, she didn't think that would be possible.

Haley's expression became serious. "Oh, and you need to tell Luke."

Her heart began thumping painfully. "I – I can't, Haley. I already said – no. No." Brooke stood up and began pacing the room in a mild state of panic. It was one thing to accept the fact that she was a soon-to-be teenage mother; just another statistic. But, telling Lucas...her stomach turned at the thought. "No, I just can't. He's already with Peyton; he's moved on. I just can't, Haley." Brooke's voice cracked as she tried to suppress the inevitable tears from falling once again.

Haley exhaled slowly, her heart breaking for her friend. She paused for a second. "Luke told me what happened at Tric."

Brooke abruptly stopped pacing and slowly turned to face Haley. "Oh."

"Why didn't you tell him the truth, Brooke? You knew about the baby by then."

"Why didn't you tell Nathan right away?"

Haley allowed a small smile, acknowledging that Brooke did have a point. "I know you're scared, Tigger. But, he needs to know you're carrying his baby. It's his responsibility, too. You didn't get pregnant all by yourself."

Brooke stared out the window, silently; betraying no reaction to Haley's words. How could Haley expect her to tell Lucas now? He would be so angry with her...and he was with Peyton. Brooke shuddered. The thought of that two-faced backstabbing bitch being involved in _her_ baby's life made her nauseous. But, did that give her the right to keep Lucas' baby away from him? Brooke sighed. Maybe that's why she did confide in Haley. She knew that Haley and Nathan would never keep this secret from Lucas; they would make sure Brooke told him. They'd make sure she did the right thing.

Sensing that Brooke was not ready to discuss talking to Lucas, Haley switched tactics. "Let's take things one step at a time. I'll call my doctor and see if we can get you in for an appointment as soon as possible. After that, we'll figure out where to go from there. Does that sound okay?" Haley stood up and gave Brooke a hug. "It'll be okay. No matter what, I'm here for you if you need me."

Brooke nodded, her eyes tearing up again. "Thank you, Hales. You have no idea how much this means to me." She pulled away and excused herself to use the washroom.

Haley picked up her cell phone and flipped it open, noticing she had a couple of text messages. One was from Nathan, asking how Brooke was doing. She quickly responded, letting him know that Brooke was okay and that they would talk later. Haley sighed – she hated keeping secrets from Nathan.

Haley's brow furrowed, reading a text from Lucas. He was wondering why she and Brooke weren't in first period. He asked if there was something wrong with Brooke. Haley sighed and rolled her eyes. Her best friend always had to be the hero, didn't he? She briefly debated whether she should she should bother responding. She didn't want to lie to Lucas, but it wasn't her place to tell him about his impending fatherhood. It was up to Brooke. As much as Haley hated being caught between her two best friends, she needed to be there for her former roommate. Brooke was one of the few people who stood by her when she and Nathan were separated last year. Haley knew that Brooke was vulnerable and needed someone other than Rachel to rely on. Lucas had Peyton, his mom and Keith – he would be fine. Brooke had no one...Brooke needed her more. Haley deleted Lucas' message without responding. She would deal with Lucas later. Instead, she scrolled through her contact list and found her doctor's phone number. It was time to force Brooke into facing reality.

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"Well, Miss Davis, you are definitely pregnant." Dr. Hammond confirmed, looking over Brooke's exam results.

Brooke only nodded, tiredly. She knew _that_ already.

"And, you're about thirteen weeks along." The doctor continued. "Already into the second trimester."

Brooke blinked a couple of times, startled. She knew she'd missed three periods, but she had no idea...but that meant...Brooke's jaw dropped open in realization. She'd gotten pregnant the very first time she and Luke had made love after they got back together. She'd been pregnant for nearly the entire duration of their relationship. And she'd had no idea.

She turned and met Haley's incredulous stare. How could she have ignored it for so long? Haley was probably wondering the exact same thing. If she'd just gone and taken the stupid test when her suspicions were first aroused, she would be sitting here with Lucas. Brooke blinked back tears, trying to ignore the ache in her chest. She missed him so much right now. Then, she remembered seeing him earlier with his arm around Peyton, smiling at her. Looking at her adoringly. Brooke felt sickened by the memory. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe he didn't need to know just yet. She could just let the baby tell him – if it wasn't brain damaged from all the hot-tubbing and booze and wild sex she and Lucas used to have.

With a start, she realized Dr. Hammond was still talking to her. "As you may know, your options are somewhat limited now that you're past the twelfth week of pregnancy. Do you understand what I'm saying, Brooke?" the doctor asked her in a gentle voice.

"What? Wait, no." Brooke's hands inadvertently flew to her abdomen. "No. I'm keeping my baby."

As the doctor spoke of scheduling upcoming appointments, prenatal vitamins and ultrasounds, the reality of the situation began to sink in. She, Brooke Davis, was going to be a mother in less than six months. And she was terrified.


	2. Love is A Losing Game

**Can I just say I was blown away by the response to the first chapter? I was so worried people would think it was boring... **

**Seriously, you guys are all amazing. Thanks for all the favourites and alerts - they mean a lot! So, shout-outs to: HG B6, arubagirl0926, OTH-Brucas-love, Princessakarlita411, lissiesue05, tmc82, bdavisrulz, Leah, brucas10, dianehermans, bjq, BrucasBangelBrylan (love your avatar, by the way), othiller, DarkBrownEyes03 and itsallgleektome. Thanks for your wonderful reviews!**

**Anyway, here's chapter 2...tell me what you think!**

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**Chapter 2 - Love is A Losing Game**

"_Why do I wish I never played? Oh, what a mess we made. And now the final frame; love is a losing game. Though I'm rather blind...memories mar my mind. Love is a fate resigned. Over futile odds and laughed at by the gods...And now the final frame; love is a losing game." – Amy Winehouse_

Lucas pulled his truck into the driveway behind Keith's Mustang and killed the engine. He leaned back for a few moments, thinking about the past few hours. He and Peyton had gone on a double-date with Nathan and Haley. The evening seemed pleasant enough - they'd just gone for pizza and a movie – but Lucas could sense a tense undercurrent in the atmosphere. Haley was less talkative than usual and she seemed irritated with Peyton and, her behaviour towards him was bordering on hostile. Nathan was a bit friendlier, but he seemed kind of distant; not quite himself. He chalked their weird behaviour up to the stress of Haley's pregnancy. Lucas decided to talk to Haley tomorrow at school and see how she was doing with everything. He'd been so self-involved the last couple of months that he wasn't a very good brother or friend to the newlyweds.

Lucas climbed out of the truck and walked up the driveway. His breath caught in his throat when he saw her. Brooke. She was sitting on the steps leading to the small porch outside his bedroom door. To say he was surprised to see her would be an understatement. They avoided each other ever since she'd cruelly and heartlessly dumped him, claiming she no longer missed him. The rejection still hurt even though he'd tried to bury it deep inside himself.

He stood, staring at her, remembering the last time they'd spoken. It was over a month ago; at Tric. Rumours were running rampant that Brooke was pregnant, so he confronted her. A small part of him was actually hoping it was true - if she was carrying his child, she would have to come back to him. Not that he was at all ready to be a father. At that point, he was just desperate to hold on to her. When she denied it, he wasn't sure he believe her. Something about the way she tensed her shoulders and avoided looking him straight in the eye. Her denial was so vehement; he remembered thinking that she was overreacting. Normally, Brooke would have either laughed at the rumours, or given him a sharp retort and told him to fuck off. She would have looked him in the eye.

A few days later, it was revealed that his best friend was pregnant, not his ex-girlfriend. Brooke had been bearing the brunt of the rumour mill and harassment by the Clean Teens in order to protect Haley. Lucas had to admit to feeling a rush of relief at the news. He was still free; he wouldn't be bound to someone who no longer loved him. His future was still wide open to all possibilities. But, a part of him was devastated. Brooke didn't have a reason to come back to him, now.

It just wasn't meant to be.

He was trying to move on with Peyton. A few days after the Tric incident, she told him that she loved him. He wasn't sure if he reciprocated her feelings, but Peyton didn't seem to mind. And a part of himself - the part that had been wounded by Brooke dumping him – took sick pleasure in knowing that dating Peyton would hurt Brooke. Maybe he was more like Dan than he cared to admit; lashing out at the ones he loved.

But, his plan backfired. Brooke didn't seem to notice or care. She just acted as if he and Peyton didn't exist. Except for that one day when he caught her staring sadly at him and Peyton during study hall. Her eyes were filled with such misery...he felt horrible seeing her so broken. He _hated_ that he caused her pain. In spite of himself, he began to hope she'd come to him and tell him that she'd made a horrible mistake...but, she never did.

Now, he was stuck in a relationship he wasn't sure he wanted. Sure, things with Peyton were steady enough and free of drama. But there lacked a certain passion. Brooke was exciting, thrilling, challenging. Peyton was predictable...the safe choice. At least Peyton wanted and needed him; Brooke constantly pushed him away.

Still, the brunette filled his thoughts, no matter how hard he tried to push her out of his mind. He found himself observing her from afar and he'd noticed a gradual change come over his ex-girlfriend during the last few weeks. She was quieter and she rarely smiled. If she did, it was the fake pasted-on smile she wore when she was hiding her true feelings. He couldn't remember the last time he heard her laugh. Her wardrobe had also changed. She only wore flowing, loose-fitting tops. Gone were the tight-fitting camisoles that showed off every curve. But the biggest change he observed was that she was becoming less and less involved with cheering. She was still captain, but she rarely attended practices and during games she only participated in the less strenuous routines. Something was definitely going on with her. He remembered seeing her sobbing in Haley's arms one morning before class the week after the confrontation at Tric. But no one would tell him anything when he asked about her. Haley just changed the subject, Nathan advised him to talk to Brooke himself and Rachel told him to fuck off. So, he backed off and tried to push the nagging sense that something wasn't right to the back of his mind.

And now, here she was, sitting on his porch. She hugged her knees to her chest and dropped her gaze to the ground when she saw him approaching. Lucas sat down beside her, but she stubbornly kept her eyes fixed on the ground. He stared at her, soaking her up her beauty. This was the closest he had gotten to her in ages. He breathed in the scent of her coconut shampoo and had to stop himself from burying his face in the crook of her neck. Her dark brown hair was pulled back from her face in a messy bun and she wore an oversized hoodie and pyjama pants. He wondered how it seemed as if she had just rolled out of bed but still looked amazing. Then, he cursed himself for having these thoughts about his ex-girlfriend – who had dumped his ass for no reason.

Only seconds had passed, but to Lucas it felt like an eternity. Brooke still hadn't looked up at him, or acknowledged his presence. They continued to sit in silence, as Lucas waited for her to speak. Whatever brought her here must be important; important enough for her to be sitting outside his door for god knows how long.

"I...I need to tell you something," she finally whispered in a soft voice. She raised her head, but still wouldn't turn towards him.

Lucas just nodded, keeping his gaze locked on her.

She sighed and closed her eyes briefly before finally turning to face him. Her hazel eyes were glazed over with unshed tears, but what really scared him was the shattered expression on her face.

Lucas began to panic. "Oh, Brooke," he murmured and he reached for her, to pull her into his arms.

"No, don't. I-I need to get this out before I lose my nerve," she choked out as a single tear ran down her cheek.

He drew his hand away, his heart pounding. Something was very, very wrong. "Okay. Talk to me, Brooke," he said in gentle voice, hoping to soothe her somewhat.

Brooke drew in a shuddering breath and stared into his eyes. At that moment, she looked so small and so scared. "I'm pregnant."

Lucas furrowed his brow, feeling an eerie sense of déjà vu. He felt like he had been transported back to junior year, when they had that scare. "Okay..." he started, slowly. "Have you taken a test? Maybe you're just late." He wasn't really sure what this had to do with him – it had been at least two months since the last time they'd made love. If she was pregnant with his baby, wouldn't she have told him when he confronted her at Tric?

Brooke shook her head. "Luke, you don't understand. I took a test...Actually; I took four tests just to be sure after what happened last time. I've already been to the doctor and everything. I'm having a baby; your baby, _our_ baby."

"What...how? We broke up six weeks ago. I asked you and you told me-" Lucas cut himself off and shook his head. He remembered once more how she wouldn't look him in the eye, how furious she was when he brought up Chris Keller. He narrowed his eyes. "Brooke...how long have you known?"

She wrapped her arms around herself and started rocking back and forth, slightly. "I...um...kind of found out a week after we broke up."

"So, the rumours were true." Lucas mumbled. He was so shocked by Brooke's revelation that he couldn't process it. He was going to be a father? His darkest wish might have come true...but she still lied to him. His anger was already beginning to burn inside his chest, spurred on by shock and fear. He was desperately trying to keep it in check. "I asked you point-blank if you were pregnant and you lied to my face. Why the hell would you do that to me?"

"I wasn't ready to deal with it and I was trying to help Haley." Brooke's voice cracked and she dropped her gaze into her lap. "I was all alone; I didn't know what to do."

"You could have told me; you _should _have told me!" Lucas heaved an angry sigh and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick straight up. "I would have been there for you, Brooke."

"No, you wouldn't have. You've been too busy with your precious Peyton to give a shit about me. You hooked up with her so fast; you probably didn't have time to change the sheets." Brooke shot back, wiping away the tears trailing down her cheeks.

"Leave my girlfriend out of this," he growled, feeling a small twinge of guilt as Brooke cringed at his words. "She has nothing to do with this mess."

Brooke looked away from him. "You may think that, Lucas. Trust me; she has _everything_ to do with this _mess_."

"What the hell are you talking about? _You_ kept this under wraps; _you_ lied to me!" Lucas' voice rose and his anger started to take over. "_You_ did this, Brooke. This mess is your own fault."

"My fault? My fault? I didn't get pregnant all by myself, Lucas! From what I recall, you weren't all that worried about birth control that night!" Brooke jumped to her feet, screaming at him, her cheeks flushed bright red with rage. "What was it that you said, again? 'Oh baby, I just want to feel you – it's been so long. I love you so much.'"

Lucas recoiled as she threw his words back in his face. He stood up and moved closer to her. "You dumped me for no fucking reason."

"Oh, I had a good reason."

"What? You didn't miss me anymore? That's the weakest excuse I ever heard. You just wanted to play the field."

"_I_ wanted to play the field? You're the one who hooked up with my best friend two seconds after we broke up! Anytime I went anywhere, there you two were; rubbing it in my face. You always wanted her – you just used me as a bedwarmer until she decided she wanted you back."

"How could you think that? I love you, Brooke. You told me love wasn't enough."

They silently stared at each other for a few moments; Lucas scowling, Brooke glaring. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with her. She was pregnant with his child. They should be having a rational discussion. But, he just couldn't help himself. Brooke had a way of bringing his feelings to the surface; not only that, she brought up intense, passionate emotions that he usually kept closely guarded. Even now, in spite of being so angry with her and so hurt and confused, he still wanted her. It drove him to distraction that she had this effect on him.

"Are you sure it's mine?" The words left his mouth before he could stop himself and he regretted them instantly.

Brooke's lower lip trembled and the anger drained from her face, leaving devastation in its wake. "I can't believe you asked me that. Do you really think so little of me?" Her voice was raw and vulnerable.

Lucas lowered his head. "I didn't mean it that way, Brooke."

"Unbelieveable." She muttered, shaking her head. Suddenly, she snapped her head up and glared at him, her hazel eyes filled with fire. "I'm sixteen weeks pregnant – about four months. Remember four months ago, Lucas? The night of the storm? You chased me in the rain and we fought and then we made love. We weren't protected because we were stupid; so fucking stupid!" Brooke narrowed her eyes at Lucas and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "And before you ask, it is most definitely _not_ Chris Keller's! Unlike you, he was smart enough to wrap it up. Besides, I got my period like a week after I was with him. My _last_ period." Brooke took a deep breath before she continued. "I shouldn't have lied to you; I should have told you the truth. I should have come to you as soon as I found out. But I was terrified, Lucas! I'm still terrified! And to sit here and listen to you say all these hateful things to me...Can you blame me for not coming to you sooner?"

As she screamed at him, his anger towards her faded. No, he didn't blame her. Before she could react, Lucas wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Pretty Girl."

Brooke struggled in his embrace, trying to pull away from him, but he refused to release her. "Now you know," she said in a broken voice. "I don't want anything from you. I'm not trying to trap you; I know you never wanted me, you never wanted this. I just thought you should know."

Lucas looked down into her tear-filled eyes. How could she say he never wanted her? He was holding the mother of his baby in his arms. In a few months, his Pretty Girl was going to give him his first child. He was scared to death. He was seventeen, he had a girlfriend and he hadn't graduated from high school yet.

But, looking at Brooke, he didn't care about all that. Yes, six weeks ago, she had walked away from him...but she still loved him. She _did_ miss him. Lucas could see it written all over her face. He wasn't letting her go, again. Without thinking, he crashed his lips against hers and kissed her passionately. At first, she tried to turn her head away from him, but he brought his hand up to the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her chocolate locks, making it impossible for her to move away.

"I'm not letting you go, Brooke." His kisses trailed down her neck and he began nibbling and sucking on the spot below her right ear. The spot that made her melt...the spot only he knew about.

She moaned and Lucas smiled against her neck. "Lucas, no. Stop. You have a girlfriend – Peyton..."

"No. I don't want her. I want _you_. I want our baby." He bit harder on her neck, leaving a mark. "I'm not letting you run away from me again." He tightened his grip on her even though she had stopped resisting him. He brought his lips back up to hers and his heart leapt as she finally relaxed against his chest and started responding to his kisses. This is what he missed so much over the past month and a half – with Brooke in his arms, he felt whole again.

"You have_ got_ to be kidding me." The angry voice cut through the passionate haze clouding Lucas' brain. He pulled his lips reluctantly away from Brooke's and turned his head. A slender curly-haired blonde stood half-way down the driveway, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Peyton." Lucas cast his eyes downwards and took in the guilty expression on Brooke's face. He looked back up and gazed into his girlfriend's blazing green eyes. "I can explain."

Peyton just chuckled humourlessly. "This ought to be good." Then, she turned her attention to Brooke, who trembled in his arms. "Guess you have no right to play the martyr now; hey, Brookie? Not so long ago, you and Rachel were calling me a home-wrecking whore. And, now I find you making out with my boyfriend. Ironic, don't you think?" Peyton shook her head.

Brooke whimpered slightly and tried to tear herself away from Lucas, but his grasp remained firm; one arm was wrapped around her waist, pulling her close to his body while the other hand cradled her head against his chest.

Lucas scowled at Peyton, seeing her in a whole new light. And it wasn't pretty. "Don't talk to her that way."

Peyton's upper lip curled into a sneer. "I can talk to her any way I want. She's a fucking hypocrite. She was holding the fact that you cheated on her with me over my head for ages and now I find you and her making out for all of Tree Hill to see."

Lucas' scowl deepened. "Shut the fuck up, Peyton. You have no fucking clue what's going on, here."

Peyton just shook her head, in disgust. "Whatever; I'm done. You two deserve each other." She turned to walk away and then stopped. "Oh, right." Peyton turned back towards them and pulled Lucas' cell phone out of her pocket. "You left this in my room." Peyton threw the phone at Lucas, but her aim wasn't great – the phone fell short of the porch and the display cracked as it hit the bottom step of the porch. She walked down the driveway towards her car.

"Stop being such a fucking bitch, Peyton." Lucas snapped at her.

"Fuck you, Lucas!" Peyton yelled back over her shoulder as she climbed into her car and started the engine. She backed out of the driveway and peeled off down the street, tires screeching against the pavement.

Lucas returned his attention to Brooke, hearing her muffled sobs. Brooke had pulled her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie and buried her face in the soft grey material.

"Brooke...come here." He tried to tighten his hold on her slender body but Brooke just shook her head violently and pulled away from him. "Pretty Girl, please." He pleaded.

"No. Do not call me that." She was sobbing so hard, he could barely understand her.

Lucas couldn't stand to see her like this. "Brooke, please...the baby. This can't be good for the baby."

Brooke's sobs quieted, much to Lucas' relief. "The baby," she whispered.

"Yeah, our baby." Lucas smiled, thinking the storm had blown over. He reached for her once again, but Brooke backed away. Lucas' brow furrowed. She refused to look at him; her hazel eyes were fixed on the ground.

"You made me someone I swore I'd never be." Her voice was soft, but strained. "You made me into a cheater. You made me into a whore."

"Brooke, no, no, no. You are so wrong. You are not a cheater or a whore." Lucas stepped forward, and grabbed her by the arm.

The brunette shook her head and backed away from him. "You wanted nothing to do with me until you found out about the baby. You wouldn't even talk to me or look me in the eye, Lucas. For six weeks, it was like I didn't exist in your little world. Except when you were ambushing me at Tric and demanding to know if I was pregnant. And accusing me of getting knocked up by another guy." Her voice cracked and she swallowed hard.

"Brooke – "

"But then, as soon as I tell you about the baby, you start kissing me and telling me you want me, that you love me..."

"But I do, Brooke. I never stopped."

"You just think that because of the baby. If there was no baby, then I wouldn't even rate a second glance from you. You'd be with Peyton right now."

"That's not true! Stop telling me how I feel!" Lucas roared, slamming his fist against the side of the house.

Brooke shrank away from him, biting her lip to suppress her sobs. Lucas felt horrible for scaring her, for making her feel so much pain. She didn't deserve this – any of this. He wasn't mad at her; he was mad at himself. If he had just swallowed his pride and chased after her that night, none of this would be happening.

Before Lucas could even think of a way to reassure her, the door to his bedroom opened to reveal Keith standing in the doorway.

"Luke, what the hell's going on out here? It's after eleven. The neighbours are going to start complaining soon." Keith's voice was calm, but Lucas detected the underlying exasperation in his tone.

Lucas hung his head. "Sorry, Keith."

Keith looked past his nephew. "Brooke? What are you doing here?" Lucas noted the welcoming smile on Keith's face, in spite of the late hour. If it had been Peyton, she would have been sent home with barely an acknowledgement. He was beginning to notice little things like this lately.

"I...uh, had to talk to Lucas. I didn't realize how late it was. I'd better get going." Brooke quickly wiped away a stray tear.

That did not escape Keith's notice. "Brooke, have you been crying?"

"A little." Brooke shrugged and gave Keith a watery smile. "It's no big deal."

Keith shot a glance at Lucas, before returning his gaze to Brooke. His expression softened and he put an arm around the distraught brunette. "Why don't you come inside? Maybe I could persuade Karen to make you a cup of hot chocolate?"

Brooke suddenly burst into tears at Keith's words, heart-wrenching sobs wracking her small frame. Keith wrapped his arms around her, his eyes widened in surprise. He'd never seen the young brunette so distressed. He narrowed his eyes at Lucas, wordlessly asking what he had done this time.

Lucas shook his head and closed his eyes. His mom and Keith were going to be so disappointed in him. They had raised him to be a better man than this...

"Keith? Lucas? Is everything alright?" Karen's Roe's gentle voice floated out from inside her son's bedroom. She stepped out onto the porch, clad in a flannel bathrobe and slippers. Her attention was immediately drawn to the girl sobbing in her fiancé's arms. "Brooke, sweetie, what happened?" Lucas opened his eyes and met his mother's questioning gaze.

Lucas sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ma, Keith...Brooke and I have something to tell you..."


	3. Don't Speak

**Well, I actually had this chapter written for awhile, but then I decided to make a few additions. Sorry it took so long. Hopefully, you'll like it?**

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews last time! I'd thank you all personally, but I don't want to blab too long...**

* * *

**Chapter 3 – Don't Speak**

"_Don't speak... I know just what you're saying; so please stop explaining. Don't tell me cause it hurts. Don't speak... I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts." – No Doubt_

"I don't think I can do this, Pretty Girl..."

The soft whisper awakened her from her light slumber. Her eyes snapped open and she felt a cold chill run down her spine. At first, she thought it was the fragment of a dream. His voice sounded so soft, it seemed almost surreal. But when she heard him sigh and felt the mattress shifting beneath her as he got up from the bed, she knew it wasn't a dream. It was her worst nightmare.

Brooke had five weeks to come to terms with becoming a parent; Lucas had only four days. Four very emotionally draining days, during which they had fought, laughed, cried, talked and made love. The first night, he swore up and down that he loved her; that he would be there for her and the baby. Brooke wondered if the reality was finally settling in for him; maybe he couldn't handle it. Maybe he was so scared of turning out like Dan that he was making promises he wouldn't be able to keep.

They were both drained – physically, emotionally and mentally. It hadn't been easy for anyone. The look of shattered disappointment on Karen's face when Lucas told her about the baby still haunted her. Even though Karen and Keith insisted she stay with them, Brooke still felt guilty for inflicting such pain on the couple she considered surrogate parents. That's why she left the majority of her belongings at Rachel's – and it looked like she had made the right decision. Especially since it looked like he was already having second thoughts only four days in.

Brooke blinked back tears and bit her lip to keep a sob from escaping. She shouldn't be surprised – deep down, she knew this would happen. She wasn't enough; _they_ weren't enough for him. Her hand drifted down to her stomach, which was showing the first hint of the new life growing inside of her. She couldn't help but smile at the small bump. This baby was worth it; this baby meant everything to her. But the question remained; would her baby have a father?

She could hear him typing away on his laptop. Lucas Scott had a way with words, and he would be a success. She knew he would dominate the bestsellers lists one day...would they be holding him back? Brooke gazed around his bedroom, now bathed in the soft glow of his desk lamp. This room held so many memories for her; some bad, most good, all painful.

Six weeks ago, she came into this room to talk to him, to explain what had happened between her and Peyton. To tell him what Peyton had revealed to her at Naley's rehearsal dinner; to tell him why she needed him to stay away from the tortured artist for once in his life. She wanted him to understand where she was coming from, instead of instantly jumping to Peyton's defence without question. She needed him to reassure her; to make her feel safe and loved. Instead, she found Lucas talking and laughing with her former best friend; the same girl who proclaimed her love for him two days beforehand. The same girl who had the gall to ask Brooke if she loved her own boyfriend. Seeing them together...something in her just snapped and she walked away from him, breaking her own heart in the process. A week later, she found out she was pregnant.

She probably would have kept her pregnancy hidden from everyone if she hadn't seen Lucas flaunting his new relationship with Peyton in front of the school that day. Talking, laughing, kissing, and looking at each other like they were the star players in some epic love story. Just seeing them together tore down her last vestiges of strength. He broke her. Again. The damage he inflicted on her was so much worse this time. This time, she really loved him. And she was actually pregnant.

Since Haley dragged her off to her doctor's appointment three weeks ago, Brooke had slowly coming to grip with the situation. She had her Naley and Rachel was a surprisingly loyal supporter. Even if Lucas wasn't going to be around, she wouldn't be alone. She was still terrified, though. She couldn't imagine what her parents would say about all of this. At best, they would continue to ignore her and throw money at 'the problem.' At worst, they would cut her off completely. Thankfully, they were in Australia for the next two months. She could put off dealing with Richard and Victoria for awhile...but Lucas...unfortunately, he wasn't halfway around the world. Nathan, Haley and even Rachel were constantly on her case about telling Lucas the truth. As oblivious as Lucas tended to be concerning Brooke, even he would notice her protruding stomach as the months wore on...

Still, in true Brooke Davis fashion, she kept putting it off. And then four days ago, she realized she could run no further. She was cornered.

* * *

_Four Days Ago_

_Practice was harder than she remembered. It wasn't that she was out of shape – she was just so damned tired. Brooke took a long sip of water and tilted her head back, closing her eyes. She tried to block out everything - the whispering of her fellow cheerleaders, Peyton's pouting, Lucas continuing to ignore her. She just wanted to scream. Instead, she counted to ten and opened her eyes. _

_She caught a familiar pair of blue eyes watching her and her heart stopped beating for a split second. Was he finally going to acknowledge her? No...wrong Scott. Brooke exhaled sharply, as she remembered that Lucas didn't attend practices anymore. She threw a reassuring smile in Nathan's direction before turning back towards the squad._

"_Okay, let's get back to it!" she called out, trying to keep the exhaustion out of her voice. She was surprised when no one moved to join her at the sidelines. Except for Peyton and Rachel, the rest of the squad was gathered in front of the bleachers, glancing at each other nervously. "What's the problem?" Brooke asked, masking her disquiet with a bright smile._

_Finally, Theresa spoke up. "We're just wondering whether you're still committed, Brooke."_

"_What do you mean?" she asked coldly. Of course, it would be Theresa who would start to question her; to turn the others against her. Brooke knew she was on shaky ground with the other girls. She'd spent too much time away from them. The balance of power was shifting. She had a feeling the last remaining love in her life was soon going to be ripped away from her._

_Theresa shrugged. "A good squad needs a good leader. Someone who lives and breathes cheerleading; someone who can take us to the Classic and actually win it."_

_Brooke narrowed her eyes and glared at the dark-haired girl. "How dare you question my commitment to this squad? I've done more for this squad in two years than any other cheer captain before me. I worked my ass off to get us invited to the Classic! The last time Tree Hill got to that level was almost twenty years ago! I've spent countless hours choreographing, practicing and getting your asses whipped into shape so we were ready!" Brooke took a deep breath, trying to quiet her rising voice. Some of the basketball players were already looking over at her. "What were you doing, Theresa? While I was pouring my fucking heart and soul into this squad, where the hell were you? Sitting on your fat ass bitching and moaning – but you were happy enough to enjoy the benefits of my hard work!"_

_A malicious gleam flashed in Theresa's eyes. "I'm sorry, Brookie! You're right; you're such an inspirational leader. You constantly skip out on practices, you slack off on game nights and you can barely make it through a half-hour of practice without a break." Theresa's smirk widened and she took a step closer to Brooke. She looked her up and down, her dark eyes glittering dangerously, as they rested on Brooke's mid-section. "Funny how you just made a comment about my supposedly fat ass. You should talk; you're getting kind of thick around the middle, there. No wonder you need a break every twenty minutes. You've probably packed on 10 pounds in the last month. Spending some quality time with Ben and Jerry?" Brooke's cheeks reddened as a few squad members giggled. _

_Brooke clenched her jaw, her hands resting on her hips. She had a desire to reach down and shield her abdomen from view, but she knew that would just arouse more suspicion. Out of the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of her former best friend. She was standing off to the side, staying out of the fray. Brooke felt a pang of sadness. Just a few weeks ago, Peyton would've jumped to her defence. Now, she just stood there, watching Brooke getting ripped apart with a blank look on her face. So much for hos over bros._

_Rachel stepped forward. "Back off, bitch." She hissed._

"_What's wrong, Brooke? Can't fight your own battles?" Theresa laughed and rolled her eyes. "I suppose the two biggest sluts in the school have to stick together. No one else would associate with this pathetic whore. Didn't she go psycho and drive a limousine off of a bridge because some guy didn't love her or something?"_

_Without thinking, Brooke raised her right hand and slapped Theresa across the face. The slap echoed throughout the suddenly quiet gym. Theresa's head snapped back from the force of the blow and a couple of cheerleaders rushed to her side. The entire squad was silent as they stared at their captain in shock and anger. Most of the girls instinctively moved to gather around Theresa. Rachel stood beside Brooke, trying to suppress a wide grin from spreading across her face. Peyton continued to stand off to the side, arms crossed and impassively watching events unfold as if she were above the drama. _

"_What the fuck, Brooke? Just because your boyfriend dumped your ass for your best friend and you can't fucking deal, doesn't give you the right to take it out on me!" Theresa yelled angrily, her voice ringing in Brooke's ears. "I mean, who in their right mind would want you for more than a good fuck? Lucas definitely traded up."_

_Brooke's eyes filled with angry tears, her right hand shaking as she dropped it to her side. "Fuck you." She whispered. _

"_Alright ladies, break it up!" Whitey shouted, striding across the gym towards the squad. But, it was too late. The damage was done._

_Brooke turned away from the squad, picked up her bag and walked out of the gym before anyone could say another word. She was done._

_Two hours later..._

_Brooke stood in front of the full-length mirror in the bedroom she shared with Rachel, staring at her body. She turned to the side and sighed, staring at the small bump that had caught Theresa's attention. She could have sworn it wasn't there yesterday. Brooke raised her eyes and caught sight of her roommate's reflection in the mirror._

_Rachel's eyes were filled with concern. Brooke inwardly groaned, knowing that Rachel probably wanted to talk about what happened at practice. Brooke shook her head, hoping her roommate would get the message._

"_Wow. Looks like Luke Junior went through a growth spurt!" Rachel greeted her with a smirk, dropping her gym bag on the floor. "Is that normal?"_

"_I don't know." Brooke moaned and flopped down on her bed. "According to the baby book, it's only supposed to be the size of a mango."_

"_Looks like you've got an entire fruit basket hiding in there." Rachel laughed._

"_Shut up. You didn't have to put up with that skank Theresa calling you a fatty in the middle of practice for the entire gym to hear!" Brooke bit her lip, trying to block out the memory of her run-in with Theresa and the rest of the squad. "This sucks. None of my jeans fit me anymore."_

"_Good thing leggings and tunics are in. That should get you to the eighth month or so without anyone else noticing." Rachel replied, sarcastically._

"_Bitch."_

"_Slut."_

"_Whore."_

"_No, hon, that'd be you. I'm not the one who's knocked up." Rachel picked up Brooke's copy of _What to Expect When You're Expecting_ and sat down beside her. "What week are you in now, anyway?"_

"_Week sixteen." Brooke replied, resting her hands on her belly._

_Rachel flipped through the book until she found the page she was looking for. "Hey, did you know that you might start feeling the baby move soon?"_

"_Really?" Brooke's face lit up. "I haven't felt anything yet..."_

"_You'll feel a fluttering sensation from it swimming around and kicking like crazy. Or it might just be gas." Rachel shrugged. "Oh, and it's growing hair...and fingernails."_

"_Wow." Brooke whispered. "That's...amazing. And it's all happening inside of me. There's an actual baby in there."_

_Rachel gave her friend an uncharacteristically sombre look. "Are you planning on letting Lucas share in this whole miracle of life stuff anytime soon?"_

_Brooke rolled her eyes and stared at the ceiling. "Not you, too. I get enough nagging from Naley on that subject."_

"_You knew that would happen when you confided in them. There's no way in hell they'd sit back and let you hide this from Lucas. Besides, people are starting to notice. Now that Theresa's shooting her mouth off about your weight gain, you know people are going to be watching you...and your belly." Rachel leaned back against the headboard and stared at the brunette, intently. "He's been asking about you."_

_Brooke held her breath and continued staring up at the ceiling, waiting for Rachel to elaborate. What did she mean? Why would Lucas be asking about her? They haven't spoken in four weeks. Not since Tric. He hasn't acknowledged her since that night. So, she gave him the same silent treatment. She simply pretended that he didn't exist in her universe. Some (Haley) thought she was being too harsh, but it was a means of self-preservation. Almost every time she saw him, he was with Peyton. Didn't he realize how much that would hurt her? Didn't he care? Obviously not. So if he didn't care, then neither did she. _

_Rachel absently flipped through the pregnancy book, watching conflicting emotions flit across Brooke's face. "I'm not Lucas' biggest fan right now. In fact, I think he's acting like a selfish asshole. That's not the guy who stood on the river court and professed his undying love for you. I don't know what's going on, but I think he still cares for you in a weird way. He asks me how you're doing every damn day. It's fucking annoying, but it's got to mean something, right?"_

"_It means nothing. His words mean nothing. If he did care, he would fight for me. He wouldn't be with Peyton." Brooke replied in a flat, expressionless voice. _

"_Brooke, I get that you want nothing to do with him. I get that you're scared and when Brooke Davis is scared, her instinct to run away as far and as fast as she can." Rachel paused, examining Brooke's face for a reaction to her words. Her roommate's expression remained carefully blank. "But, you need to tell him. He deserves to know that you're carrying his insanely huge baby. Even if you two aren't together, this baby will have two parents that will be madly in love with it. And that's more than what either you or I got growing up."_

_Brooke blinked a couple of times. "And what if he's his father's son? What if he wants nothing to do with my baby?" she murmured in a low, raspy voice._

"_Then, you'll be no worse off than you are right now. But in all honesty, I will kick his fucking ass if he doesn't at least chip in on the grocery bill for this kid." Rachel nudged Brooke's leg with her foot. Brooke laughed, in spite of herself. Rachel slid down from the headboard, so she was lying flat on her back beside her roommate. She waited for Brooke to turn her head and face her. "No matter what happens, you'll always have me." _

_Brooke's hazel eyes filled with gratitude. There was so much she wanted to say to Rachel, but the fiery redhead had a low tolerance for sentimentality. "In the past six weeks, I've learned who my true friends are...I never thought I'd see the day where I'd count you among them. So...Thanks, bitch. For everything."_

_Rachel grinned. "Now, that's about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me." She opened the pregnancy book. "Let's see what else is going on with little monster in there...Aw, it's peeing already!"_

"_What the hell are you talking about?" Brooke snapped, trying to snatch the book away from her._

"_I'm serious! It says so right here: Your baby is emptying his or her bladder every 40-45 minutes!" Rachel exclaimed as she fell over on to her side, laughing._

_Brooke looked mildly horrified. "So, my baby is peeing inside of me? That doesn't sound good."_

"_Ah, the miracle of life." Rachel sighed, mockingly._

_Brooke opened her mouth to reply when she was interrupted by the doorbell. "Hold that thought. I'll go see who it is."_

"_I'll just keep perusing this book for more fun facts about Junior. Maybe you could use some of these tidbits as an icebreaker when you finally tell Lucas." Rachel cackled, gleefully._

_Brooke's response was to throw a pillow at Rachel's head. She went downstairs as the doorbell rang a second time. She opened the door and was surprised to see Nathan and Haley standing on the front doorstep._

_She smiled brightly at the married couple and ushered them inside. "Hi guys. What brings you by?"_

_Haley smiled nervously. "Well, we were just in the neighbourhood and we thought we'd stop by since we haven't seen you since school ended...three whole hours ago. It just seemed like such a long time and-"_

_Nathan shook his head and rested a hand on his wife's shoulder. "Hales. Stop rambling." He turned towards Brooke and she was reminded once again of how much Nathan's icy blue eyes resembled Lucas'. "Davis, we need to talk to you."_

"_Oh? About what?" Brooke asked innocently, as she squirmed under Nathan's intense gaze._

"_Are you planning on telling my brother about his baby anytime soon?" Nathan demanded in a harsh tone._

_Brooke started at the tone of his voice and nodded. "I'm going to tell him...when the time is right." She replied, slowly._

_Nathan and Haley exchanged a glance. He sighed, in frustration. "Davis, there is no right time. You should have told him right away. How long has it been now?"_

"_A few weeks..." Brooke mumbled weakly, her eyes filling with tears. Damn hormones! Haley was at her side in an instant and Brooke gratefully leaned against her._

_Nathan heaved a sigh and softened his tone. "Okay, I know my brother's been a total dick lately, but he deserves to know he's going to be a dad. This is getting ridiculous." Nathan glanced significantly at Brooke's small, rounded belly. "We all heard Theresa's crack about your 'weight problem' at practice today. People are going to start talking again especially since it's getting kind of obvious. He needs to hear it from you – not from a bunch of gossiping cheerleaders."_

"_Nate, he's with Peyton. He doesn't want a baby with me. I'd be ruining his life." Brooke looked up at Nathan, pleading with him to understand._

_Nathan sighed once more and his gaze lost of its intensity. "You need to tell him. And don't give me anymore of this 'it's ruining his life' bullshit. He made a baby with you and he needs to man up and take responsibility. You know his worst fear is turning into Dan. He would never abandon his child. If you gave him the chance, he would be with you every step of the way. And you know it, Brooke."_

"_I will, Nate. I promise." Brooke relented, realizing this was the only way to get him off her back._

_Nathan crossed his arms and frowned at her. "When?"_

"_Soon."_

_The younger Scott brother shook his head. "Not good enough, Davis. You've been saying that for three weeks." Nathan studied the marble floor of Rachel's foyer, carefully choosing his next words. "Hales and I are in a tough spot, Brooke. On the one hand, we love you and we want to support you. We know you're going through a lot of shit right now and we are here for you – you've got to believe that."_

"_I do." Brooke replied in a soft voice._

"_But, on the other hand, Luke's my brother and Haley's oldest friend. Yeah, he's being an idiot and I can barely look at him without wanting to knock some sense into him. Haley's hardly even speaking to him. You know that you need to tell him, Brooke. We've been saying it all along. But enough's enough. You're telling him tonight." Nathan stated, firmly._

"_What?"_

"_You're telling him tonight, Davis. If you don't, I will first thing tomorrow morning." Nathan's voice softened as he put an arm around her shoulder and drew her close to him. "I really didn't want it to come to this. I didn't want to have to issue ultimatums or make threats to get you to talk to Luke. But, you're carrying my niece or nephew and I want this baby to know its dad. I just think of how fucked-up I'd be if Haley never told me about our baby...I don't want my brother to go through that. He's not a monster, Brooke. He's done a lot of stupid things, but he doesn't deserve this. He needs to know."_

_Brooke broke away from Haley and Nathan and sat down heavily on the stairs. Damn Nathan and his compelling speech. Those Scott brothers should go into politics. She rubbed her temples, trying to think. She dreaded telling Lucas but Nathan wasn't giving her much of a choice._

"_Nathan!" Haley whispered, urgently. "We have that stupid double-date with Luke and Peyton tonight..."_

"_Doesn't matter, Hales. She's put it off long enough. If we leave it up to her, she'll be in the delivery room before she tells him." Nathan replied, in a low voice."She can tell him after."_

_Brooke closed her eyes, pretending not to have heard that exchange. God. Not only was she going to have to tell Lucas tonight, she had to do it after he got home from a double-date with Naley and Peyton. Fan-freaking-tastic._

"_He'll be home by ten. Peyton won't be there." Nathan added, hastily. "Karen and Keith gave him a curfew on weeknights after all those rumours about you being pregnant got around." He smirked, as Brooke groaned and Haley smacked her husband on the back of his head. _

"_So? Tonight, Davis?" Nathan prodded._

"_Okay." Brooke relented. "Tonight."_

_Nathan nodded, satisfied. "Good. Now, come here." Brooke stood up and Nathan wrapped her in a big hug. "You'll be fine." He whispered in her ear and gave her a chaste peck on the top of her head._

_Brooke nodded and gave Haley a hug. "Your husband's mean." Brooke pouted._

_Haley rolled her eyes and gave Brooke a warm smile. "Call me if you need to talk after...I don't care if it's four in the morning. And, Tigger – you're doing the right thing."_

* * *

So, that's how she ended up returning to this room four nights ago - the night she told Lucas about the baby. The night Lucas also claimed that he still loved her, that he wanted the baby, that he wanted her...The same night Peyton found them kissing on his porch and dumped him. The night Lucas turned her into someone she despised – a backstabbing whore.

Brooke sighed softly, as she stroked her abdomen, where her baby was growing. No matter what, she would always have a part of Lucas Scott close to her heart and she was thankful for that. Even though her heart was breaking, even though she was petrified of having to do this alone, she knew she had to release him from his obligation to the baby – if that's what he wanted.

How did that quote go again?

"If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they were always yours; if they don't, they never were." Brooke said softly, before turning over to face him.

Lucas' head jerked up and he turned towards her. "Brooke? I thought you were asleep." Guilt flashed in his eyes for a split second, before concern settled across his features.

"I was. I woke up when I heard what you said." Brooke smiled sadly, unconsciously tracing circles on her abdomen with her finger.

Lucas bowed his head for a moment. "It's late, Brooke. You need your rest. Think about the baby."

Brooke sat up, ignoring the wave of exhaustion that washed over her. "I meant what I said, when I told you about our baby." Her eyes filled with tears as she saw him involuntarily flinch at her last two words. "I don't want to trap you. You are free to do what you choose. I don't want to hold you back – that was never my intention. I can do this alone. I don't need you."

Even though every muscle in her body was crying out for sleep, she forced herself to stand up and search for her jacket. She swayed slightly, as she was rocked by another wave of nausea. Strange, she thought she was past the puking stage of pregnancy. She closed her eyes for a moment and the feeling passed. When she opened her eyes, Lucas was standing before her, his hands resting lightly on her hips.

"What are you doing, Brooke?" He sighed. "Lie down and rest...we can talk in the morning."

Brooke shook her head. "No, Luke. This isn't your dream – I don't want to ruin your life. You once said that you wanted to have kids with someone you were in love with. We both know that's not me." Her voice caught and before she could put a stop to it, tears were escaping from her eyes and running down her face.

Lucas pulled her into his arms and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Brooke, come to bed, please."

Brooke tried to struggle out of his embrace. It was driving her mad, being so close to him and lying next to him, knowing he didn't really love her back. "Lucas...why are you holding on to me? It's not fair. You can't pretend to love me...you don't want our baby. You don't want me. I don't want you to hate us."

"Brooke..." Lucas' arms tightened around her. "I could never hate you."

"Let me go! Just let me go! You don't want us! Just let me go..." Brooke was sobbing hysterically, not realizing how loudly she was shouting at Lucas until his bedroom door opened.

"Lucas, Brooke...what on earth's going on in here? Please tell me you two aren't arguing again." Karen pleaded, standing in the doorway, half-asleep. Brooke broke free from Lucas' grasp and threw herself into the arms of the only mother-figure she had ever known.

"Shhh, Brooke, it's going to be fine." Karen stroked her hair and Brooke immediately felt somewhat comforted. "Lucas, what happened this time? All of this fighting isn't good for her or the baby and it doesn't solve anything."

"I know, Ma. She won't come back to bed." Lucas heaved a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck, looking completely worn out and helpless.

"Brooke, honey, just go back to bed. I'm sure Lucas will lay with you until you fall asleep." Karen murmured coaxingly, knowing how sleeping in Lucas' arms soothed the young girl.

Brooke shook her head. "No. He doesn't want me or the baby, Karen. He said he couldn't do this. I tried to go, but he won't let me leave." She was crying hysterically, now, the sobs ripping from her chest.

Karen shot a glance at Lucas and shook her head at him. "Okay, sweetheart. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But, you can't leave now; it's two in the morning and you're in no condition to drive. Come on, you can stay in the guest room."

Brooke was barely aware of Karen leading her down the hall to the guest room and tucking her into the bed, like she was a little girl. Karen sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed Brooke's hair off her forehead. "Try and sleep, Brooke."

"Is everything okay?" Karen and Brooke both looked towards the doorway. Keith was leaning against the doorframe, with a gentle smile on his face.

Brooke gave him a shaky smile. "No...But maybe it will be?"

Keith laughed softly and Brooke relaxed at the sound. "You've got to have faith that everything will work out the way it's meant to, Brooke. Now, listen to my fiancée and get some rest. You're carrying my grandchild and I want him – or her – to be safe."

Brooke just nodded. She felt so warm and secure with Karen and Keith. They were like the parents she never had. They had a way of making her feel like everything would be fine.

Karen wiped the tears from Brooke's face and kissed her on the forehead. "Everything will be fine, Brooke, I promise. You're both young and scared..."

"But, he meant it, Karen...I know he did. He just didn't mean for me to hear it." Brooke mumbled, sleepily. Exhaustion was beginning to overtake her.

"It's okay, Brooke. I know my son. He's done some pretty stupid things in the past, but whatever he said, I'm sure he didn't mean it. He loves you, Brooke. Now, sleep...you and the baby need to rest." Karen gave her one last kiss on the cheek and left the room, as Brooke drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Four days.

Four days ago, his life was turned upside down.

Four days ago, Brooke told him that she was pregnant with his child.

Four days ago, he found out that he would become a father in five short months.

Four days ago, his short-lived and ill-conceived relationship with Peyton Sawyer came to an abrupt end when she caught him making out with the mother of his child.

Four days ago, he gazed into his mother's eyes and for the first time in his life; saw bitter disappointment when she looked at him.

Four days ago, he discovered that his Pretty Girl still loved him. But, it might be too late. He'd pushed her too far. He'd broken her.

Four days filled with tears, arguments, accusations, confusion, fear and regrets.

Lucas stood, rooted in the center of his room, watching as his mother guided Brooke away from him. He swallowed hard, wishing his mother would be as comforting towards him as she was towards Brooke. He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. He knew that Brooke's hormones were out of control; that she was emotionally overwrought. But, she had completely overreacted to what he'd said. She wouldn't even let him explain.

He was going to be a father by the age of 18. The reality of the situation made him break out into a cold sweat every time the thought crossed his mind. The course of his life was forever changed. He was still in shock about the whole situation, but he wasn't lying when he told Brooke that he wanted their baby...that he wanted her. He still loved her; he loved their baby. He knew she loved him. He could feel it every time their eyes met, or when they accidently touched. Unfortunately, she'd raised the walls around her heart and fortified them. She refused to let him in. It scared him that his twisted need for revenge might have cost him his family. Every day, they would drifted further and further apart but he couldn't think of anything he could do to stop it.

Lucas blinked, as his eyes filled with tears. He knew his mother blamed him for getting Brooke pregnant. Yes, Brooke was the one who had to deal with the physical reality of the pregnancy, but didn't she realize that Lucas needed her, too? He was completely out of his depth. How do you deal with becoming a father in high school? How do you convince the mother of your child that you love her and want to be there for her; for your baby? How do you even begin to repair the damage you inflicted on each other? Why did he keep fucking up with Brooke? He was a reasonably intelligent person – why couldn't he figure out what she wanted? Why couldn't he be the man she needed him to be?

Things with Brooke were confusing. They were not back together. But, she was staying with him and his parents; in his house. She was supposed to sleep in the guest room, but every night, she would sneak down the hall and crawl into his bed. Most of the time, they didn't touch. It seemed as if Brooke was somewhat comforted by his presence. Lucas found that lying next to her was sweet torture. He could barely stand it. Trying to sleep beside the girl he loved more than anything; the girl who was pregnant with his baby and not being able to touch her, hold her, comfort her to love her was an impossible feat. He was slowly being driven mad.

He needed a drink.

Lucas crept across the hallway, towards the kitchen. He froze on the threshold, hearing quiet voices coming from the living room.

"I just don't know what to do, Keith. I want to be supportive, which is something I never got from my own parents when I was pregnant with Lucas...but this fighting. I just don't know how to deal with it." Karen's anxious voice floated in to the kitchen.

"I know, Karen, I know." Keith sighed. "Everything'll settle down, soon. You'll see. They've only had a few days-"

Karen let out a sharp laugh. "Brooke knew about the pregnancy for five weeks, Keith! Five weeks and she didn't tell Lucas."

"Shhh..."

"Don't shush me, Keith. The Brooke I know would never have kept this from him for so long. She's so honest about everything – why would she hide this?"

"I think she was scared...remember how scared you were to tell Dan?"

"Lucas isn't Dan. I raised him to be better than that – _we_ raised him to be a better man. Something must have happened between them. Lucas must have done something to hurt her so badly. Now she thinks he's going to abandon her and the baby and I don't know what I can do to convince her otherwise." A pause. "I don't know if _I _believe it."

"Karen, you know Lucas would never abandon his child. He knew what it was like growing up without a father."

"I don't know, Keith. I really don't. Lucas has changed so much in the past year. He hides things from me, he ping-pongs back and forth between girls...he started seeing Peyton less than a month after breaking up with Brooke. What he if he got her pregnant, too?"

Keith was silent for a moment. "I guess we just have to have faith that they'll work things out and be there for them – for both of them."

Lucas froze as he heard his mother let out a loud sob. "I wanted so much more for him, Keith."

"I know, honey, I know."

Lucas couldn't stand to listen to any more. He retreated to his bedroom and lay down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He was completely crushed by his mother's words. He'd let her down and that knowledge slashed at his heart. Lucas took a shuddering breath and exhaled slowly. For the first time in a very long time, he let his emotions overtake him. Silent tears streamed down his face, as he lay perfectly still in the darkness, finally giving into exhaustion near dawn.


	4. I Saw Red

**Hi peeps! Happy Halloween! Here I am with another update for you, even though I should be in a deep sugar coma right now. I really adore this fic and I'm glad so many of you are liking it, too. The reviews and all the alerts/favourites are awesome and I can't thank you enough for reading and reviewing!**

**So, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. Brooke and Lucas are still confused, although there's some progress, and there's a bit of a confrontation with Peyton. It turned out a little differently than I expected. Lucas is going to be kind of assy, but he's a teenage boy and they're usually assy by nature (even if they don't realize it.)**

**Let me know what you think - next chapter will have more Haley, Nathan, Karen and Keith.****Chapter 4 – I Saw Red**

* * *

"_Every day I love her a little bit more, a little bit more, a little bit more. Every day I love her just a little bit more and she loves me the same...It makes no sense at all; I saw red...One more secret lover that I shot dead. Every day I wake up, just a little bit more, feeling like a dog in the yard; it's just how we are. And every day I wonder if it's over - then I wake up...and break down the wall. You say it's black but I don't believe you. And if I say it's white, you say I'm just trying to deceive you. I'm aware of the high and the low and I'd be waiting for you in the middle, but I just lack control." - Sublime_

Lucas slammed his locker door shut as the warning bell rang. He sighed and leaned against his locker. He'd only gotten about an hour of sleep before his Uncle Keith shook him awake on his way to the garage. He was hoping to catch Brooke before school and talk with her about last night. Unfortunately, Brooke was gone for the day by the time he got out of the shower. His mother was working the early shift at the café, so he was on his own. Eating breakfast alone in the empty house was an eerie experience. It was much too quiet and his thoughts were overwhelming him, adding to his feelings of loneliness and isolation. Tree Hill High was the last place he wanted to be today.

He sighed, rubbing his eyes and watching the halls empty as his classmates scurried off to homeroom. He'd only shown up because it was game day. Now that he was here, he found he didn't give a shit. It didn't matter; it wasn't like he'd be playing anyway. Whitey had him warming the bench ever since he was diagnosed with HCM. He toyed with idea of skipping out for the day. It was Friday – his mom and Keith would both be working late. Maybe he could catch up on some much-needed sleep. He smirked to himself; strange how yesterday school seemed so important and now he could care less.

No one would care if he left. Brooke was upset with him. He was barely on speaking terms with Nathan and Haley – he was still pissed they knew about the baby for weeks, yet neglected to tell him. And Peyton...well, he thought it best to avoid her for the time being. He scowled, thinking of their confrontation yesterday morning.

* * *

_Thursday_

_Lucas was digging through his locker, searching for his Chemistry textbook. He had a free period and needed to study for a test that afternoon. School had kind of taken a backseat over the last few days. It all seemed so irrelevant in the face of the personal drama he was currently facing. But, he needed to focus on his future. In a few months, he would have a child to support and he needed to keep his marks up in order to get a scholarship. _

_His mother and Keith were willing to help him and Brooke out by giving them jobs and a place to live; but only as long as they both attended school. He was grateful for the support, but he knew he had a long way to go to earn back his mom's trust and respect. Her disappointment in him was a heavy burden to carry. Lucas sighed. He and his mother hadn't really talked since the night he and Brooke told her about the baby. It didn't help when he saw her comforting and encouraging Brooke. It felt like a double-standard. He and Brooke were both responsible for the situation they were in. Shouldn't they each be assigned equal shares of support and blame? Keith told him to give her time to process the situation; that she would eventually come around. Lucas understood her need for space, but his mother's apparent rejection of him still hurt._

_The back of his neck prickled; he had a feeling someone was watching at him. Lucas looked up and met a pair of hazel eyes. His lips curled up at the sight of the owner of those beautiful eyes. At least things were looking up in one area of his life. Brooke quickly looked away, a faint blush coloring her cheeks. Lucas wondered if she was remembering last night...how he poured all of his feelings; all of himself into their lovemaking. He wasn't expecting it to happen, but he couldn't say he was sorry. He'd been worried when he woke up alone. He had panicked, convinced that she had run away from him, from Tree Hill, with their child. His greatest fear was that he would wake up one morning to find Brooke gone, taking their child with him, never to be seen or heard from again._

_Lucas had never been more relieved in his life when he stumbled into the kitchen to find her seated at the kitchen table chatting with Keith over orange juice and toast._

_Brooke met his gaze and nodded, before walking away. Lucas stared after her, a goofy grin on his face. Maybe there was still hope for them. At least she was acknowledging him today. That was progress._

"_I suppose congratulations are in order." A sarcastic voice broke into his thoughts. Lucas turned to find Peyton standing behind him. She was glaring at him ferociously, her green eyes blazing with anger._

_Lucas froze, wondering if she had somehow found out about the baby. "For what?" he asked, playing dumb._

_Peyton snorted, her thin lips curling into a sneer. "You and Brooke are back together, aren't you? I hear you two have been playing house."_

_Lucas calmly shut his locker and leaned against it, facing her. "No offense, but what happens between Brooke and I is none of your business."_

"_It's my business when I find my boyfriend and my best friend making out on your back porch."_

"_You mean ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend." Lucas interjected, wearily. He was so tired of Peyton and her constant self-victimization. He frowned, remembering the harsh words she had for Brooke the other night. If that was the way Peyton spoke to her friends, he wouldn't want to see her verbally eviscerate her enemies._

_Her face flushed at his response. "Well, I was hoping you'd come to your senses...Obviously, she suckered you in with some sob story. Brooke can be very manipulative. I figured if I gave you some space, it'd clear things up for you."_

_Lucas just shook his head, in disbelief. "I really don't have time for this." He muttered in annoyance. "Look, Peyton, I never meant for you to get hurt. You're one of my best friends and I love you, but I'm not in love with you."_

_Peyton blinked and took a step backwards. "But, I told you I loved you...and we started dating..."_

"_Did __**I **__ever tell __**you **__that I loved you back?" Lucas asked in a quiet, calm voice._

_Peyton opened her mouth and then closed it, her eyes widening at the realization. "No." She whispered._

"_That's because there's only one person that I love; that I'm in love with. And it's Brooke."_

"_But she doesn't love you, not like I do. She dumped you, Lucas. She told you she stopped missing you. I was there for you when she walked out the door; when she ignored you and pretended you didn't exist."_

"_I know and I'm grateful for your friendship." He replied, putting emphasis on the word 'friendship.' "But, she's the girl for me. I never stopped loving her."_

"_Then why did you start going out with me so soon after your break-up if you loved her so much?"Peyton let out a sharp laugh. _

_Lucas closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the locker. Should he tell her the truth and risk hurting her further, completely demolishing their friendship? Or would it be better to lie? Peyton was one of the few people who 'got' him. She could usually tell what he was thinking without him having to say a word. She was unfailing in her support of him; she had his back, no matter what. But, it was only on her terms...Lucas' brow furrowed as he sank deep into thought. Sure Peyton was such a great friend to him, but what about Brooke? Why was she willing to toss Brooke aside for a guy after all the two girls had been through? What kind of person did that make her? And was Peyton's friendship really worth losing Brooke and the child she carried? _

_It wasn't._

_Lucas refocused his gaze on Peyton, whose features had softened into an expression of hope. She thought his long delay in answering her question meant that he had magically discovered his hidden love for her. He shook his head and gazed down at the ground. He had to make her understand, so he told Peyton the truth he was unwilling to admit to Brooke the night before. _

"_You were always there...if Brooke didn't want me, I had someone who did. You were my safety net." Lucas exhaled, and swallowed hard. "Besides, I wanted to hurt her...like she had hurt me." He added in a soft voice._

_Peyton stared at him, in shock, her eyes filled with tears. "You were using me?"_

_He bowed his head. "I'm sorry."_

"_I thought you were one of the good guys, Luke." Peyton shook her head. "I just - I can't believe I left Jake for you. I destroyed my friendship with Brooke and for what?"_

"_What do you mean you left Jake for me?" Lucas asked, puzzled. "When did you see him? Did you two get back together? And how did you destroy your friendship with Brooke? I thought you said you had no idea why she was angry with you."_

_Peyton paled. "Never mind. It's not important. I thought we were meant to be; you and me. You wanted me since the eighth grade – you never wanted Brooke."_

_Lucas narrowed his eyes and glared at the blonde. He wasn't fooled by the rapid redirection of the conversation. "That was then; this is now." He felt a stab of guilt at the hurt expression in Peyton's eyes. "You can't help who you fall in love with."_

_Peyton smirked and shook her head, avoiding his steady gaze. "Ain't that the truth." She drawled, sarcastically. There was an awkward silence. "I'll be going now. As pleasant as this was, I think you can understand if I can't be around you right now." She brushed past him and walked rapidly down the hallway before he could question her further._

* * *

The conversation with Peyton had unsettled him. He wasn't sure why, exactly. It was just...odd. It felt unfinished. Lucas pushed the curly-haired blonde to the back of his mind. He had more important things to focus on. Brooke. The baby. His mom. His future.

He needed to get out of here and clear his head. Lucas turned and walked down the deserted hallway towards the outside doors.

He was a few feet from the doors when a small sound caught his attention. Lucas turned his head and saw her – Brooke. She was leaning against the wall in the hallway leading to the locker rooms. He could see tears streaming down her face and even though she was quiet; she was crying so hard, her shoulders were shaking. Lucas hesitated, not sure whether he should approach her or not. She obviously didn't trust him and that hurt.

She was wore a loose jersey knit skirt and the same oversize zip-up hoodie she'd been wearing the past couple of weeks. Lucas watched as she slowly unzipped the hoodie and placed her hands on her abdomen. He inhaled sharply seeing the small, but noticeable bump. He hadn't seen it since two nights ago when they made love. Except for that night, Brooke kept herself well-covered and just out of his reach. Seeing her caressing her stomach stirred those same feelings he felt that night. Something he couldn't put words to...a mixture of reverence, fear and a strange primal urge. It was because of him that her stomach grew; it was his baby, his Brooke. For the rest of their lives, they would be linked through the baby inside of her. The breath was knocked out of him and his heart began pounding at the realization. This was forever. He felt a dizzying mixture of exhilaration and fright all at the same time.

Seeing her like this, vulnerable and unaware of his presence, made it all the more real. It made him all the more scared. Still, he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Brooke gently rubbed her stomach, almost as if she was trying to convince herself that it actually existed. He could only stand and stare at Brooke in awe. He was so entranced; he nearly stumbled backwards when she spoke.

"I'm so sorry, baby." She whispered, her voice made raw by her tears. "You deserve so much more than I can give you...but I'm going to try my best, I promise. It's just going to be you and me. You're everything to me. I hope you know that."

Lucas blinked back tears. He felt guilty for how he'd acted last night. He saw how scared she was and instead of reassuring her, he only succeeded in pushing her away, like he always did...and now she felt like she was alone in this. He was not going to be Dan. He was going to be a father to this baby; he would support Brooke, he would do whatever it took for this baby to feel loved and accepted by its father. Maybe in time, Brooke would learn to trust him again. Maybe she would be able to freely love him again. Lucas wiped away his tears and approached Brooke.

"You're not alone, Brooke." He whispered in a hoarse voice.

Brooke looked up at him, startled. Wariness crossed her features and Lucas' heart ached. "I thought...last night you made it pretty clear that I am. Alone, I mean."

Lucas reached over to touch her and he frowned when she flinched at his touch. "I'm not Dan. I'm going to be there for you; and for the baby." He reached down and rested his hand on Brooke's abdomen. He gently rubbed soothing circles over where his baby was growing. "I'm scared, too, Brooke."

Brooke just nodded and smiled weakly. "How do you think I feel? I have a person growing inside of me...and in a few months, I'll have to push that person out of my body."

Lucas smiled at her, relieved that she was letting him in, even if it was a tiny bit. "Do you want to get out of here? I just can't deal with school today. I mean, I know it's game day and you're cheering..."

Brooke sighed, sadly. "I quit the squad. I just told Whitey and he agreed it was for the best, you know, under the circumstances." She gestured towards her stomach. "It probably didn't help that I slapped the smirk off Theresa's face on Monday. It was either quit or get kicked off. I preferred to leave on my terms. It's strange...it used to be so important to me, but now it just seems so pointless."

"Come on, let's get out of here." Lucas pulled her towards him and put his arm around her waist protectively, making sure his hand was placed securely on her belly. Brooke looked up at him in surprise and he hugged her even closer to him.

* * *

After stopping off for ice cream, they found themselves at the River Court. They each knew they needed to talk but neither of them had any idea where to begin. Just hanging out seemed safer, comforting almost. If they started talking, it would most likely degenerate into a fight.

Lucas worked on his jump shot while Brooke sat on the bleachers, sketching some designs in her notebook. Occasionally, she would raise her head and watch him for a few moments before returning to her drawings. Brooke's heart pounded as she watched him shooting baskets wearing his black dress pants and white dress shirt. He'd already tossed aside his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his shirt, rolling the sleeves up past his elbows. He looked so handsome and strong at that moment that she just wanted to cry. She wanted nothing more than to nestle into his arms and forget the rest of the world. But it was dangerous to think that way; she would only wind up getting hurt. Unconsciously, her fingers brushed her small baby bump. And now she had someone else to think of.

Lucas was confused. Brooke wasn't certain she could trust him. The night she told him about the baby, he told her he loved her and wanted her and their baby. Then last night...Brooke couldn't think about it without breaking down. Why would he say something like that? And then this morning, he's promising he would be there once again and touching her stomach, something he hadn't really done before. In fact, it seemed as if he avoided looking at her body; like he was too scared to face the reality of the situation.

And then there was what happened two nights ago...

* * *

_Wednesday_

_Brooke's eyes fluttered open to darkness. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest as she realized that she was in Lucas' bed for the second night in a row. Nothing physical had happened between them since he kissed her Monday night. Brooke turned over and watched him sleep. He was on his stomach, arms wrapped around his pillow. She wished they were wrapped around her. She desperately needed to feel safe right now; she needed to feel loved. She was still in love with him; she needed him. She craved everything about him. Brooke felt an uncomfortable pressure on her bladder and she groaned. The constant peeing was not something she was at all used to. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Careful not to disturb Lucas, she crept out of his room and down the hall to the bathroom._

_When she returned to the bedroom, she was surprised to see Lucas awake and sitting on the edge of the bed. He only wore a pair of flannel pyjama pants and a tight grey wife-beater that clearly defined his chiselled abdominal muscles. It wasn't fair...why did he have to look so sexy?_

"_Did I wake you?" she asked, in a raspy whisper._

_Lucas gazed at her and rubbed his neck. "No...I was only dozing." He ran his fingers through his tousled hair. "Are you okay?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine. I just had to use the bathroom." Brooke shifted uncomfortably and sat down beside him. He looked into her eyes with the brooding sadness that made her fall for him just a little more. She felt like he could see right into her soul...but she knew it was wishful thinking. Sometimes she felt as if he didn't know her at all. The silence was becoming heavier by the second._

"_Why?" he finally asked._

_Brooke was puzzled. She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Why what?"_

"_Why did you break it off with me?"_

"_Lucas, I already told you-"_

"_No," he interrupted her. "I want the truth. I already heard the 'you never let me in' and the 'I stopped missing you' excuses. I want the real reason."_

_Brooke dropped her gaze to her hands, no longer able to meet his eyes. "Those are the reasons." She insisted in a soft voice._

_Lucas heaved a sigh and cupped her chin in his hand, turning her head to face him. "I don't believe you." He replied in a low voice._

_Brooke tried to pull away from his grasp, but Lucas held her firmly. Tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked rapidly, trying to hide them. _

_Lucas' eyes softened, seeing her tears. "Talk to me, Pretty Girl." He whispered, tenderly._

_Brooke closed her eyes and she felt a tear slide down her cheek. Her breath caught in her throat, as Lucas brushed it away with the pad of his thumb._

"_Tell me, Brooke." His voice was so low and deep...he sounded less like the teenage boy she knew and more like the man he would one day become. _

_Brooke opened her eyes and gasped sharply, seeing that he was mere inches away from her face. Having him so close was confusing...her resolve was weakening by the second. Her walls were starting to crumble... as he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. She melted against him and began to kiss him back...she felt safe...loved. Then she remembered. _

_Peyton. The adoring look he gave to her former best friend the day she confided in Haley. Seeing them kissing in the hallways, leaving the gym after practices and games with their arms wrapped around each other. Maybe they'd even made love...the thought made Brooke's stomach turn. What if he'd looked at Peyton the way he was looking at her right now? She was not safe, she was not wanted and she certainly wasn't loved by Lucas. She pulled away from his embrace. _

"_Three weeks." She whispered, turning away from him._

_Lucas leaned back, puzzled. "What?"_

"_Three weeks...that's how long it took for you to get together with Peyton." Brooke got up and walked away from the bed. She stood with her back to him so he wouldn't see just how vulnerable she was. "You said you loved me, that I was the girl for you, that you'd fight for me...that you'd save me..."_

"_Brooke..." he had moved from his position on the bed and stood behind her. He ran his fingers through her hair and Brooke felt a shiver run down her spine._

"_But, three weeks Lucas? It was such a slap in the face. It's like you never meant all the things you said to me..." Brooke wiped away a couple more tears._

_Lucas placed his hands on her shoulders, pulling her towards him. "I did mean what I said to you, Brooke. I love you. You told me that love wasn't enough, that you didn't miss me. Don't you get how much that hurt me?" His voice broke and Brooke felt a pang of guilt in her chest._

_It was quickly replaced with anger as she realized what he might be implying. "Did you start dating her to punish me?" Brooke asked incredulously, turning to face him._

"_What? No! God, no!" Lucas exclaimed, but Brooke didn't miss the brief flash of guilt in his eyes._

"_Well, then how did you go from loving me to dating her?"_

"_I just-" he squeezed his eyes shut and locked his hands behind his neck. "You always say that I never let you all the way in. Maybe that's true. But you never let me in either, Brooke. You push me away as hard as you can. You act like you never need me; like you're just fine without me. Like you could live without me." He opened his eyes. "Peyton loves me; she needs me and-"_

"_Are you listening to yourself? __**I'm**__ pushing __**you**__ away? You started dating Peyton! My best friend! If anything, you're pushing me away. You're proving that you're just fine without me; that you can live without me!" Brooke nearly screamed before remembering that Karen and Keith were asleep just down the hall. "How could you love me and go running into her arms the first chance you got?"_

_Lucas exhaled, angrily and rolled his eyes. "We're going in circles, here, Brooke. I love you, Brooke. You, not Peyton." Brooke turned her back on him again, but he grabbed her by the wrist and spun her around._

_Brooke twisted in his grasp, trying to get some space between them. She couldn't think when he was this close to her; it was like he had cast some sort of spell on her that scrambled her thoughts. "Then why were you with her?" Brooke demanded between clenched teeth._

"_Because I was fucking settling for her!" Lucas roared. "You didn't want me, she did! You didn't need me, she did! You didn't miss me, she did!" He tightened his hold on her as Brooke squirmed in his arms. "Get it through your stubborn head, Brooke – I'm in love with you! How many times do I have to say it?"_

_Brooke looked intently into her ex-boyfriend's blue eyes. They were filled with anger, sadness and pain. And confusion. Her own eyes were widened with fear and astonishment as she stared at his flushed complexion and listened to his ragged breathing. Her heart fluttered, in spite of herself. He didn't love Peyton after all. But, still...he had hurt her so badly and acted so selfishly the past month or so, even before the break-up._

_She took a deep breath and swallowed her desire to jump into his arms. "It's not enough to say that you love me, Luke. You have to show me."_

_Lucas' eyes narrowed and Brooke could tell he was thinking over what she had just said. "You need me to show you that I love you – that I'm in love with you."_

_Brooke just nodded slowly, not trusting herself to speak. His breathing had become heavier, more erratic and she wondered if this was good for his heart. She bit her lip uncertainly as his eyes glittered in the darkness. She could feel his hands trembling, as they moved down her back and rested on her hips. He dipped his head down and rested his forehead against hers. She could feel his warm breath on her face and her fingers began tingling in anticipation._

"_Okay, Brooke. I'll show you how much I love you; if that's what you want." His voice had gone dangerously low again. _

_Brooke had never seen him act like this before. She was a little scared, but also turned on by him as well. This was a new sensation for her. She opened her mouth to protest, to snap him out of it, but before she could say a word, his lips were on hers and his tongue was in her mouth. Brooke didn't bother pulling away – she knew it was a losing battle. Her hormones took over and she succumbed to his will._

* * *

Brooke shook herself from her reverie, her cheeks flushed from remembering their night of passion. How he had relentlessly pounded into her; how she'd orgasmed more than she ever had before; his whispered declarations of love and devotion while he gazed at her body and caressed her stomach. They shouldn't have gone that far. If anything, it only made everything were more confusing.

She looked over at Lucas who was still shooting baskets. He'd removed his dress shirt and wore a white wife-beater. An intense wave of love and longing washed over her; so intense, Brooke was nearly left breathless.

And then, it happened. She felt a light fluttering sensation in her abdomen; just like Rachel said there would be. Her sketchbook slid off her lap and onto the ground. She sat perfectly still, waiting. Was that what she thought it was? She held her breath...and then it happened again. Her baby was moving around inside of her. Brooke let out a joyous laugh and placed her hands on her tummy, in wonder.

Lucas turned his head sharply at the sound of Brooke's laughter. His heart beat faster and he smiled at the wonderful sound. It had been so long since she last laughed, he thought he would never hear it again. He dropped the basketball and jogged over to the bleachers. He bent down and retrieved her sketchpad from the ground.

"Brooke? What's so funny?"

She looked up at him, her hazel eyes shining with tears. He was starting to get worried and then he noticed the wide grin on her face. "I felt it, Luke. I felt the baby move!" Her cheeks flushed with excitement and her dimples deepened.

Lucas just stared at her, and a slow grin began spreading across his own face. "Really?" Brooke nodded eagerly. "What did it feel like?" he asked breathlessly. Her excitement was contagious.

"Like...a bunch of butterflies fluttering around."

Lucas sat down beside her on the bleachers. "Wow." He was in complete awe, as he silently regarded Brooke. She was absolutely glowing. "It's really happening...we're having a baby." Lucas murmured in a dazed voice. "We're going to be parents."

"Yeah...parents." Brooke whispered her smile fading. She stared into Lucas' stormy blue eyes. For the first time, she really looked into those eyes she loved so much and tried to read the emotions swirling in those cobalt depths. She saw the same anxiety and fear she was sure emanated from her own eyes. She could feel the sadness and loneliness...and love. Her lips parted in surprise at the intensity of the emotions in his eyes. He loved her; he really did love her. But was it enough? Was it safe for her to lower her walls and give herself to him again? She wasn't sure if she could do it. She wanted to trust in him so badly. As much as she refused to admit it, she needed him. His baby needed him.

"I have an appointment next week. For the sonogram." Brooke started.

Lucas took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I'll be there."


	5. All Apologies

**I know.**

**It's been forever. I suck. **

**But I did have good reasons...I became an auntie twice over (one niece was born right on time at the end of November and another niece arrived four weeks early in mid-December!) Yay! But guess who had to plan the mass baby shower in the New Year? Combining two showers seemed to make sense at the time. I must have been drunk when I decided that was a good idea. And then I've been working 50-60 hour weeks at work – for the past six weeks. It's been great! (/end sarcasm)**

**So, I present a long, long, LONG awaited update. I hope it's good – if you think so, please review. I need to know if anyone's still reading my stuff.**

**And thank you so very much to dianehermans (I missed out on your Christmas wish – maybe this could fulfill a Valentine's wish instead?), superstargirl7, OTH-Brucas-love and marymary567 for your lovely PMs during my little hiatus. They really did perk me up and motivate me to finish this incredibly long update.**

**

* * *

****Chapter 5 – All Apologies**

"_What else should I be? All apologies. What else could I say? Everyone is gay. What else could I write? I don't have the right. What else should I be? All Apologies... Find my nest of salt; Everything is my fault. I'll take all the blame; aqua seafoam shame." - Nirvana_

"I'm home!" Karen Roe called out as she opened the front door. She paused for a moment, listening for a response. Instead, she was greeted by a heavy silence.

The house appeared to be empty for once.

Karen let out a sigh of relief and closed door behind her, happy to be left alone with only her thoughts for company. She dropped her purse on the floor and kicked off her shoes before padding down the hall into the living room. She flopped down on the couch and stretched uncomfortably, feeling a tight knot between her shoulder blades. It had been a long day. She'd been at the cafe since five-thirty that morning; they were short-staffed since Deb was still in rehab, so Karen had to pick up the slack. It was also unusually busy for a Wednesday and, to top it all off, Dan Scott had decided to grace her with his presence.

Karen leaned her head back on the headrest and let out a frustrated scream. She listened to the echo of her voice bounce around the room and smiled to herself, grimly. It felt good to vent some of her anger. She'd been holding it in ever since Dan's unwelcome appearance at the café.

* * *

_Earlier that day_

"_Karen."_

_She rolled her eyes at the smug tone of an all-too-familiar voice. "What do you want, Dan?" Karen demanded, grabbing a plastic bin from behind the counter. She began clearing tables, to keep her hands busy. If she didn't, she might just reach over and throttle him._

"_Just a cup of coffee." Dan said casually, as he leaned against the counter._

"_Go to Starbucks, then." _

"_Now, Karen, is that any way to treat a paying customer…especially one who happens to be the mayor?" Dan smirked. "And I am technically an investor in your business, seeing as the co-owner is my soon-to-be-ex-wife."_

_Karen slammed the bin full of dirty dishes down on the counter and gritted her teeth. "I am not in the mood." She spat out in a quiet voice._

_Dan chuckled quietly. "You seem a little touchy today. Is it that time of the month? Or is my older brother unable to satisfy your needs?" _

_Karen scoffed at the childish innuendo and turned away. "Trust me, there's no problem, there. Keith's twice the man you are; not to mention he has incredible stamina."_

_Dan glared at her. "Or maybe you just realized that you're a failure as a parent."_

_Her eyes widened and she pursed her lips into a thin line. The bastard always knew how to find her weak spot and exploit it to his advantage. "Explain."_

"_I hear you're going to be a grandma." He chuckled, slightly._

"_So? You're going to be a grandfather."_

"_As of next week, Lucas will no longer be my son, remember? You had my parental rights severed so my pathetic brother could adopt him." Dan sneered contemptuously. "At first, I wasn't too pleased, but now I'm relieved it won't be my problem."_

_Karen laughed, in disbelief. "You are such a hypocrite! Or have you conveniently forgotten that Nathan and Haley are expecting as well?"_

_Dan scowled at her. "That's different."_

"_How so? The situations are pretty much the same." Karen raised an eyebrow. "Or maybe you can't admit you aren't such a great parent yourself?"_

_Dan's face reddened and his scowl deepened as he continued on. "You've raised your son to continue the Roe family tradition of unplanned teenage pregnancies. First your mother, then you…and now Lucas. I suppose congratulations are in order." He snorted in disgust. "At least Nathan's married…and his wife isn't one of those cheerleading whores."_

"_That's it." Karen slammed the palm of her left hand down on the counter. "I've had enough of you and the toxic words spewing from your mouth. For eighteen years, I've had to put up with your shit and I refuse to do it any longer! As you previously stated, Lucas is no longer your 'problem' and you have no right to say anything about him or his choices! And you certainly have no right to barge into my place of business and criticize the way I parent my son, especially since you chose to abandon him!"_

_Karen was vaguely aware that all activity in the café had ground to a halt. Everyone's eyes were fixed on her and Dan. Tree Hill was a small town – everyone knew everything about everyone else. Her family had fuelled the town gossip mill as long as she could remember and the saga of her relationship with Dan was especially captivating to the town's residents. Normally, Karen would have retreated to the back room to avoid a public scene. But now, there was no reason to hide. With Keith's adoption of Lucas, Dan's hold on her was finally broken. Her sneer gradually morphed into a smirk and she nearly laughed as Dan's blue eyes widened in surprise at her outburst. He opened his mouth to reply, but Karen jumped in before he could utter a sound._

"_You are such a two-faced jackass; it makes me sick. You come blazing in here, belittling me and making disparaging comments about my life and my family; yet you are far from the perfect paragon you claim to be." She was yelling now, she realized. But she couldn't really hear herself. All she could hear was the rush of blood pounding in her ears. "Your wife is a drugged-up alcoholic thanks to years of your abusive behaviour. Both of your sons have severed your parental rights. You tried to destroy your own brother's life on multiple occasions. You lost your dealership because someone hated you so much, they tried to murder you. Yet, somehow, you managed to get elected mayor even though no one can recall actually voting for you!"_

"_You're making some serious accusations-"_

"_Save it, Dan. The point is, I am no longer obligated to tolerate your interference in my affairs." Karen stared at Dan, steadily. She felt an unexpected surge of power as Dan's glance flickered over to the customers and café staff who gaped silently at their confrontation. For the first time since she had known him, he seemed unsure of himself. _

"_As mayor of Tree Hill, I'm sure you are familiar with bylaw 33.8 which states that business owners have the right to refuse service. Now, get the hell out of my café." Karen whispered in a deadly tone, pointing towards the door._

_Dan held her gaze, scrutinizing her with his harsh blue eyes. Karen shuddered as his cold blue eyes crawled up and down her figure. Before she could react, he took two steps towards her and grabbed her left arm. He leaned in so closely, his breath tickled her ear. _

"_You think so highly of yourself, don't you, Karen? The poor, plucky single mother who had to shoulder her burdens all alone because she was abandoned by big, bad Dan Scott." He dropped his voice so it barely rose above a menacing whisper. "I'll admit, you've achieved a measure of success in your pitiful life. But make no mistake – you are still the same girl who was dumb enough to follow in her mother's footsteps and get knocked up in high school. And now, your son is following your example – throwing away his life on an adolescent mistake. How does it feel knowing that Lucas has wasted his future by fucking Brooke Davis? And isn't he seeing the Sawyer girl, now? I wonder if he fucked her and knocked her up, too...Does that story sound familiar to you?" Dan let out a mocking chuckle. "It seems that in spite of your best efforts, the boy has turned out to be just like me."_

_Karen shuddered inwardly at his words. Damn him. Goddamn him for exposing her most fearful thoughts; irrational, unsettling thoughts that had crossed her own mind in the past week. How dare he? She wrenched her arm from his grasp, seething. _

_Dan pulled away slightly, fixing his eyes on hers once again. "You're a failure as a parent, just as your own mother was a failure in parenting you. For years, I heard people talk. How I pushed Nathan too hard or that Deb wasn't around. I heard people praise you and Keith for raising Lucas so well; that he was better off without me. But, at the end of the day, you still failed. You're no better than I am. And that's what people will remember."_

_Karen stood still, a shocked expression on her face as Dan turned and left the café, his words still ringing in her ears._

"_You failed."_

_

* * *

_Karen closed her eyes, the memory of Dan's harsh words washing over her once again. A tear slipped though her closed lashes and trailed down her cheek. Today, her seventeen year-old son was accompanying his pregnant girlfriend (ex-girlfriend?) to a prenatal check-up. Another tear trickled down her cheek. Her boy was going to be a father. Karen wiped her tears away and cleared her throat. Dan was right; she'd failed Lucas and now she was going to be a grandmother by the age of thirty-five. Just like her own mother. Where had she gone wrong?

Karen rarely had to worry about Lucas getting into trouble growing up. She used to wonder at how she'd been blessed to have such an amazing son. He stayed out of trouble. He was studious and introspective; caring and selfless. He loved books and basketball. He did well in school. He had his small circle of friends – Haley, Marvin, Antwon and the other river court boys. Lucas somehow managed to rise above the town gossip and innuendo which plagued him, thanks to Dan's abandonment. Sure, he got into the occasional schoolyard scuffle, but he never seemed to be overly burdened by others' perceptions of him. If d them he did have insecurities, he hid them well.

Both Keith and Karen sought to encourage Lucas to have ambitions past high school. They desperately wanted him to go to college; to travel and see the world. Karen hoped Lucas would succeed where she had failed – she wanted him to pursue a life away from this dead-end town. Lucas was supposed to conquer the world and do all the things she was never able to accomplish.

For a time, everything seemed to be on-track. Lucas was getting good grades, he worked with Keith to earn money for college and there were no girls hanging around to distract him. He was also completely off of Dan's radar by then, which was a huge relief. As Lucas started his junior year, Karen began to relax. Her baby was now a responsible young adult and she trusted his judgement completely.

And then, everything changed.

Lucas joined the basketball team and all hell broke loose. He and Nathan started fighting again; Dan began interfering and cheerleaders started popping up all over the place. And Lucas, her little boy; quiet, nose-in-a-book-Lucas became something of a heartthrob. Karen heaved a sigh, remembering how she returned home from six weeks in Italy to find her son lying in a coma, tattooed, with a mini-skirted Brooke draped over his hospital bed. Not only that, she later found out that he was drinking and having sex with the brunette bombshell. Deb even saw them buying whipped cream and condoms at the grocery store one day. Then, just as she got used to Brooke – who could be something of an acquired taste – Lucas dumped her to pursue Peyton.

It shocked her that Lucas was capable of lying to someone he professed to care about. It meant that he wouldn't have a problem lying to his mother. This deeply bothered Karen since their close bond was gradually weakening. And when the pregnancy scare came up...it reminded her of how she had once been abandoned for a blonde. History seemed to be repeating itself.

Karen trudged into the kitchen and pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge. She reached for a glass, pausing for a moment. It was in this very spot that she had slapped her son in the face when he told her Brooke was pregnant – the first time, that is. Her hand shook, nearly dropping the wineglass, remembering how angry she had been in that moment. And scared; scared for him, scared for Brooke, scared for herself. Lucas had been frightened, too, his tear-filled blue eyes pleading with her. And she had lashed out. Karen bowed her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Then, by some miracle, he regained Brooke's love and trust only to squander it once again by rebounding from their break-up into Peyton's waiting arms. Karen filled her glass and took a long sip of wine.

A year later, here they all were in nearly the exact same position. Karen just wanted to slap her son upside the head every time she laid eyes on him, but she resisted the urge. Then, last Monday, everything came full-circle. Karen handled her son's news only slightly better than the last time – at least she hadn't slapped him.

* * *

_Last Monday_

_Karen filled four mugs with hot chocolate and carried them to the kitchen table. No one had spoken since they entered the kitchen. Brooke's tears had tapered off into the occasional sniffle. Karen glanced over at Lucas, who sat beside Keith; shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on the scuffed Formica table-top. He reflexively clenched and unclenched his jaw, his brow furrowed with deep lines. _

_Karen exchanged a glance with Keith over the teens' heads. Her fiancé shrugged and gave her a half-smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He was trying to reassure her, bless him. But he was just as worried as she was. What would possibly bring Brooke Davis to their home so late on a school night, sparking an argument loud enough to wake the neighbours – not to mention her and Keith? _

_Brooke gazed up at Karen with red-rimmed eyes, wrapping her shaking hands around the mug the older woman had placed in front of her. "Thank you, Karen." The young girl gave her a watery smile and Karen's heart ached for her._

"_It's no trouble, Brooke." Karen sat down beside her and took Brooke's hand in hers. "We've missed you." She added in a low voice, not missing how her son's posture stiffened at that remark._

"_Yeah...well." Brooke lowered her head, her gaze dropping to her lap. "I've been busy." She replied, softly._

_Lucas snorted. "I'll say." He mumbled, still scowling at the table's surface._

_Brooke's head jerked up and her lower lip trembled for a moment before she hardened her expression. She opened her mouth to retort but Keith interrupted._

"_Luke, I believe you said that you and Brooke have something to tell us. Why don't you go ahead, son?" Keith asked in a strong, but soothing voice. _

_Lucas heaved a sigh and tore himself away from his examination of the chipped Formica tabletop. "Remember those rumours that were going around? The ones that compelled you both to institute a curfew even though I hadn't done anything wrong?"_

_Karen flinched at the bitter tone in her son's voice. "Lucas..."_

_Keith caught Karen's eye and imperceptibly shook his head at her._

_Lucas clenched his fists and pursed his lips into a thin line. "Well, guess what. They turned out to be true." _

_His dark blue eyes bore into Karen's and she nearly gasped at the torrent of emotion in their depths: anger, despair, fear, helplessness. He needed her; the feeling was almost palpable. And she wanted to help him; to take his pain away. After all, he was still her baby boy...Still, if he was implying that Brooke- Karen froze. No. They weren't going through this again. No way._

_She shook her head. Those rumours were true? But, that meant...Karen slowly turned towards the petite brunette sitting beside her and noticed a pale hand resting protectively on her stomach – where Karen could see the hint of a tell-tale bump underneath the hoodie. Karen's eyes widened and she snapped her gaze back to her son._

"_Tonight, I found out that I'm going to be a father in five months. For real, this time." Lucas stated, flatly. Despite his monotone delivery, his words still cut Karen to the bone. _

_Karen briefly met Keith's eyes. His jaw had dropped open slightly, in shock. It took quite a bit to fluster her usually stoic fiancé. Then again, this wasn't an ordinary situation. Karen rubbed her temples and closed her eyes to suppress the surge tears that were threatening to break. A heavy weight settled upon her chest. _

_She wasn't sad...no, not exactly. She was angry. He should know better; he experienced the struggles Karen had as a young single mother firsthand. Didn't she start drilling the mantra of safe sex into his stubborn head as soon as he hit junior high? Karen remembered all too well the power teenage hormones had over thought and reason...but Lucas _knew_ the consequences. He should have been well-versed after last year's pregnancy scare. Didn't he learn anything at all? Deep down, she couldn't help but blame Lucas. As much as she was trying to suppress her traitorous thoughts, there was a part of her that was furious with him for getting himself into this situation. For getting Brooke into this situation. They both had so much potential and now...it was all for nothing._

_The silence in the kitchen grew more oppressive by the second as Karen digested the news. She couldn't even look at her son right now. She squeezed Brooke's hand and opened her eyes. "You're pregnant?"_

_Brooke nodded, silent tears streaming down her face. Karen wordlessly drew the trembling girl into her arms and hugged her tightly._ _Karen saw a lot of her seventeen year-old self in Brooke. After all, she had been in Brooke's position eighteen years ago. Maybe that's why it was easy for her to empathize with her. The poor girl had no parental guidance and crippling self-esteem and trust issues. Karen wanted to protect her, comfort her...God knows Richard and Victoria Davis wouldn't stand by her. She was even questioning whether Lucas would be able to stand by her. _

"_Yeah, Ma, Brooke's pregnant." Lucas interjected, resentfully. A hurt expression briefly flickered across his features. It disappeared so quickly, Karen thought she may have imagined it. "She's known for weeks and only bothered to tell me now."_

"_Lucas!" Karen exclaimed, surprised by his tone._

"_Ask her how far along she is, Ma. Ask her how long she held off on telling me. Better yet, ask her why she lied to me all those weeks ago when I asked her if she was pregnant." Lucas swallowed hard, staring across the table at his ex-girlfriend. "Ask her if she was ever planning on telling me." He finished, in a husky whisper, his voice breaking._

_Karen stared at Brooke, uncertainly. She couldn't imagine Brooke deliberately hiding her pregnancy from Lucas. "Brooke? Sweetie...please talk to us."_

_Wiping her eyes, Brooke raised her head. "I'm...I found out I was pregnant a five weeks ago, just after I broke up with Lucas." She drew in a shuddering breath and slowly exhaled._

_Karen frowned. Why didn't she tell anyone sooner? She opened her mouth to ask Brooke that exact question, but Keith jumped in before she could get the words out._

"_Go on, Brooke." Keith smiled patiently at the distraught girl._

"_I was scared to tell anyone. Well, except for Rachel. She was kind of there when I found out..." Brooke trailed off and she sighed. "I didn't really know what to do, so I just...tried not to think about it. I mean, I couldn't stop thinking about it; but I didn't want to think about it, you know? I knew I'd have to make a decision but I just couldn't face it. And then when the rumours started...I panicked. I didn't want anyone to know, yet. So, I just took a page out of my parents' book and denied everything." Brooke looked at Karen and Keith with pleading eyes. "I felt so alone. Lucas and I had broken up-"_

"You _broke up with _me_." Lucas interrupted._

_Brooke sighed heavily. "Didn't we just have this exact same argument like an hour ago?"_

"_Enough." Keith jumped in, placing his hand on Lucas' shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "How far along are you, Brooke?"_

_Karen drew back and watched as Brooke bit her lip nervously. "Um...I'm just over sixteen weeks pregnant." She whispered, softly._

_Karen's jaw dropped open once again. Keith's expression mirrored her own. Lucas was staring at Brooke with an expression of heavy sadness, but Karen could see the anger building in his blue eyes – Dan's eyes. Karen shivered involuntarily._

"_You're four months pregnant." Karen stated. Brooke just nodded. "And are you keeping the baby, or –"_

"_I'm keeping my baby." Brooke replied, firmly. "I made that decision weeks ago."_

_Lucas shifted in his seat, his expression darkening. "It would have been nice to have been included in that decision." He muttered. Karen could see him struggling to reign in his rising temper. Keith gave his adopted son's shoulder another squeeze and exchanged another glance with Karen._

_Brooke raised her chin and stared at him defiantly. "I already apologized for not telling you sooner, Luke. I can't go back in time and change things. Just like you can't go back in time and – oh, I don't know – maybe NOT start dating Peyton two seconds after we broke up!"_

_Lucas shook his head. "You're just not going to stop beating me up about that, are you?"_

"_Well, it's kind of a big deal to me." Brooke retorted._

"_And you hiding the fact that you're pregnant with my child isn't a big deal to me?"_

"_You should be happy I even told you. It wasn't my idea."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_Brooke, Lucas..." Karen interjected, wearily._

"_No, Ma, I want to know what Brooke meant by that comment. Were you actually planning on keeping my child away from me? Were you going to run off somewhere; disappear and hope that I'd never find out? I shouldn't be surprised; running's what you're good at."_

"_Screw you, Lucas! I wish I hadn't listened to Nathan and done exactly that. Then I wouldn't have to put up with your self-righteous bullshit." Brooke spat out angrily._

"_Nathan? What does Nathan have to do with –" Lucas slowly shook his head, in disbelief. "He knows. He talked you into telling me, didn't he? My own brother knew I was going to be a father before I did!" He slammed his fist down on the table, making Brooke and Karen start at the violence of the action. "Goddamn it!"_

"_Luke-" Keith warned._

_Lucas continued on, ignoring his uncle. "And, I suppose that means Haley knows."_

_Brooke remained silent, her eyes fixed on the tabletop._

_Lucas' eyes widened. "Haley knew, too. Un-fucking-believable. My best friend...anyone else, Brooke? Did you email Felix in military school with the good news? Maybe you should give Chris Keller a call, too."_

"_Mouth knows. He kind of found out by accident..." Brooke whispered, averting her eyes from Lucas' enraged gaze._

"_So, let me get this straight: Nathan, Haley, Rachel and Mouth all knew about my child before I did. You're a piece of work, Brooke. Going on about how alone you were...sounds like you had half the town backing you up, including my brother and two of my oldest friends!" Lucas shouted._

"_Stop it, both of you! Your petty bickering isn't getting us anywhere." Keith's voice was calm, but firm. "There's a life at stake, here and this child – your child – needs to come first. It's time you both grow up and realize that."_

"_But, Keith..." Lucas protested, his anger fading at his uncle's words._

"_He's right. You both have a lot of growing up to do and it's going to happen pretty damn fast." Karen spoke up. "In light of what happened last year, I thought you'd both be a little smarter than this. This isn't a game. Being a parent isn't easy. It means putting aside your differences and focusing on what's best for your child. It's even harder than it looks, especially at such a young age. Trust me, I know." She sighed. "Neither of you have a clue what you're getting into. You're both too young for this..." _

"_Ma...I'm sorry. I know I disappointed you-"_

"_You better believe I'm disappointed, Luke." Karen frowned at her son, trying to reign in her own temper. She wanted to scream at him, shake some sense into that thick skull of his. What the hell was he thinking? Karen got to her feet. Her entire body felt like it was vibrating with unreleased tension and anger._

"_It's after midnight. We can talk in the morning." Keith said, firmly. He stood beside Karen, rubbing her shoulder soothingly._

_Brooke cleared her throat nervously and stood up, as well. "I should be getting home." She stated in a soft voice, moving towards the back door._

_Karen instantly relaxed under Keith's touch and let out a shaky sigh. "Brooke, wait. I think you should stay here tonight. I'd feel better knowing you're somewhere safe." Ignoring Lucas' stunned expression, Karen walked across the kitchen and gathered Brooke in her arms, once again. "You can stay in the guest room." She added, pointedly._

_Brooke shook her head. "Karen, I couldn't possibly-"_

"_Brooke. I insist." Karen smiled at the girl and gently brushed her bangs out of her tear-filled hazel eyes. _

"_It's no trouble at all." Keith said, warmly. "Come on, I'll show you to your room. You and the baby need to rest."_

_Brooke nodded, hesitantly. "Thank you both so much." She whispered, her voice cracking slightly, as Keith began guiding her out of the room._

"_I've been in your shoes, once before. I know what it's like to be young, pregnant and alone." Karen gently touched Brooke on the arm._

_The young girl offered Karen one last watery smile, before following Keith down the hallway._

_The room was filled with a suffocating silence. Karen wordlessly gathered the empty cups from the table and placed them in the sink. She leaned against the counter and stared out the window into the darkness, wondering what she should say to her son. After the pregnancy scare last year, she never thought they would be having this conversation again._

"_Do you think I'm like Dan?" _

_Karen closed her eyes, blinking back tears at the sound of her son's voice. He sounded so defeated. She turned slowly to face him. Her little boy looked so broken. _

"_I mean, do you really think I'd abandon Brooke?" Lucas' voice wavered._

_Karen hesitated and tried to swallow her anger at her son. She tried to hold on to the reality that he needed her just as much as Brooke did. "I'd like to think you wouldn't..."_

"_Ma...I'd never leave her to raise the baby alone. I love her." Lucas stared up at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "You know I'd never treat her the way Dan treated you. You know I wouldn't do that to her."_

"_I just don't know who you are anymore, Luke. I never expected you to cheat on your girlfriend with her best friend or to start dating your girlfriend's best friend minutes after your break-up. And tonight, screaming at her and lashing out...How could you have treated Brooke with so little respect?" Karen said, sadly. "The son I raised would have never hurt someone so badly, without any thought to the consequences of his actions. Did it ever occur to you think about why Brooke kept her pregnancy secret from you?"_

"_Ma, please-"_

"_Lucas, I just can't talk about this with you right now. I'm so angry and disappointed that I can't see straight." Karen tiredly rubbed her forehead._

"_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I disappointed you." His voice broke once more and she could see his tear-filled eyes glittering at her from across the room. _

_Karen tore her gaze away from her only child, silent tears running down her own cheeks. "I just can't believe this is happening again, Luke." She whispered, moving towards the doorway. _

_Lucas slumped down in his seat, cradling his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Part of her wanted to gather her baby in her arms and comfort him; tell him that everything would be okay. But a larger part was reeling from the shock of becoming a grandmother and all of the painful memories this fact dredged up for her. She honestly didn't know how she would react if she stayed in that room much longer._

"_I need some time..." And then she fled the room, before he could see her tears._

_

* * *

_

The front door slammed shut, pulling Karen from her thoughts.

"Ma? You home?" Lucas' voice rang out from the foyer.

"In here, Lucas." Karen replied, tiredly. She quickly wiped the tears from her eyes as her son entered the room. "Where's Brooke?"

Lucas ran a hand through his sandy blond hair. "I dropped her off at Haley and Nathan's. She wanted to show them something." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper and sat down beside her at the kitchen table. "Here."

Karen took the piece of paper he offered and carefully unfolded it. "Oh!" Her hand flew to her mouth as she gazed down at the grainy black and white image. She could clearly she the profile of her grandchild's face and a tiny hand reaching out for something. In spite of herself, Karen smiled joyously for the first time in nearly a week.

This was her grandchild…Lucas' child.

Suddenly, it didn't seem to matter that this baby was conceived by two teenagers in the heat of reckless passion. The sonogram in her hands told of the blessing to come; not a burden. This child – her grandchild - would never be a burden.

"Lucas, this is amazing." Karen sighed. She couldn't wait to show Keith. He would be just as amazed as she was. "Did you find out the sex?"

Lucas shook his head. "The umbilical cord was in the way." His blue eyes were unfocused, fixed on a far-off point. Something didn't seem quite right. He seemed calm, but it was almost as if he was disconnected from everything around him.

Karen reached over and squeezed his hand. "I think the baby has your nose." She said, softly, tracing the baby's profile with her finger. "See?"

Lucas suddenly snapped back to reality and Karen could see an overwhelming fear flooding his eyes. He looked down at the sonogram and then back up to his mother's eyes. The colour drained from his face and he quickly stood up, knocking over his chair.

"Luke?" Karen frowned. Something was definitely wrong. "Are you okay?"

Lucas just shook his head and bolted from the room, sheer panic written across his features. Karen placed the sonogram on the table and followed her son into the hallway. She saw him disappear into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him before the unmistakable sound of her son retching reached her ears.

Karen winced, leaning her forehead against the door. She waited until she heard the toilet flushing before knocking tentatively on the door. "Lucas?"

No response.

Karen sighed and pushed the door open. She gasped, seeing her son sitting on the edge of the bathtub, shoulders shaking with silent sobs. "Lucas." She whispered his name, kneeling down in front of him. "What's wrong, my boy? Are you sick?"

Lucas shook his head as he wiped tears from his eyes. "No, Ma, I'm not sick." He mumbled, his voice thick with sadness.

"Is it the baby?" Karen asked, in a panicked voice.

"The baby's fine; perfectly healthy." Her son dropped his head into his hands and tiredly rubbed his eyes, trying to choke back a fresh wave of tears.

She reached over and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Lucas...are you alright?" Karen inwardly winced at her obvious question. Of course he wasn't alright. None of them really were.

"No, Ma, I'm not." He drew in a deep, shuddering breath. "Last week, Brooke felt the baby move. Remember?"

Karen nodded wordlessly, recalling the young girl's excitement when she told them over dinner.

"It kind of made it seem more real to me." He furrowed his brow, and Karen could tell he was struggling to find the words to express himself. "But, I was still removed from it. Only Brooke could feel the baby; she's the one dealing with the hormones and the sore feet and everything. Yeah, I can tell she's pregnant...I can see the bump and you don't know what that does to me, Ma. It's amazing and terrifying all at once. But, today, I saw the baby. I actually saw my baby moving around inside of Brooke. I heard the heartbeat. It has my nose..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I'm going to be a dad. It's _real_ now." Lucas choked out the last three words before the damn broke again and her little boy was sobbing helplessly.

Karen wordlessly gathered her nearly-grown son in her arms and gently rocked him back and forth, murmuring soothing words in his ear. Her heart clenched, listening to his tears. She felt so guilty for not being more supportive; for putting her own issues ahead of her son's. Here she was, preaching at him about being a parent when she hadn't exactly been the best mother towards him over the past week.

After a few minutes, Lucas' sobs quieted and he began to speak again. "I always thought things would be different when I started a family," he began, softly. "I would have accomplished all of the things you wanted for me – college, travelling the world, getting married. And I haven't done any of it…I'm so sorry, Ma. I'm so, so sorry I disappointed you." Lucas took a deep, ragged breath. "I'm so scared and I feel so alone. I love her so much, Ma. And I love our baby. I want to be a good father; like Keith was to me. But, I'm so scared. She doesn't trust me and she doesn't want me. I wrecked everything."

Karen squeezed Lucas close to her. His pain was overwhelming. How did she not notice it before? "Brooke loves you, Luke. I can see it every time she looks at you. She's just scared."

"And I'm not?" Lucas let out a humourless chuckle and shook his head. "She doesn't think I love her…that's the problem. I tell her, I show her, but it's not enough. It'll never be enough. I'm so scared that one day I'll wake up and she'll be gone because I just didn't know what to do to get her back." Lucas leaned on Karen's shoulder. "I don't know how to be a dad…what if the baby grows up to hate me, just like I hate Dan?"

"Lucas, you are nothing like Dan. I promise you that." Karen stated, firmly. She felt ashamed for thinking otherwise. It was doubtful that Dan had ever experienced so much emotional turmoil over Lucas' existence; that fact should be proof enough that Lucas was nothing like his biological father.

"You said you didn't know me anymore; that you didn't know if I could actually be there for Brooke and the baby." Her son whispered, brokenly.

"I am so sorry, Lucas. I was angry and upset and confused. This hasn't been easy for any of us. A lot of old, painful memories have resurfaced for me…it's been a lot to deal with." Karen murmured.

"You _blame_ me." Lucas eased himself away from her grasp on him. Karen flinched, hearing an edge of anger in his tone.

"I don't blame anyone…"

"That's not true, Ma. I remember the way you looked at me when we told you about the baby. I _saw_ the difference how you treated me and Brooke. Don't you dare deny it." Lucas got to his feet and leaned against the sink, his gaze fixed on the ground.

"Luke-"

"Day after day, I see you comforting Brooke and tending to her every need. And I'm happy you are – she needs the support. But what about me, Ma? I need you, too. Other than Keith, not one person believes in me. Not Haley, not Nathan, not Brooke…not even my own _mother_. You have _no_ idea what it's like." Lucas angrily wiped away his tears. "I've got to get out of here." He mumbled, pulling the door open and striding out into the hallway.

"Lucas, wait!" Karen jumped to her feet, following at his heels into the kitchen. "We need to talk about this."

Lucas spun around to face her and Karen's breath caught in her throat at the intense pain in his eyes. "I waited over a week. Keith kept telling me to be patient, that you'd come around. But you pretended like I –" Lucas' voice broke and he ran his finger through his already messy hair. "You chose to believe the worst of me." He turned away from her and grabbed his car keys.

Karen caught his arm as he pulled the kitchen door open. "Luke, please."

Lucas stared at her for a moment before tugging his arm from her grasp. "I need some time." He stated coldly, as he threw her own words back in her face.

Karen drew back, disbelieving, as she watched her son storm out of the house, slamming the door behind him. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, staring at the closed door before her legs finally gave out and sat down heavily at the kitchen table. She thought back over her actions towards Lucas over the past week, her heart growing heavier as she realized just how much damage she had done to her son.

Dan was right – she had failed as a parent. Not only that, she had failed at the most basic principle of parenting; one she hoped Brooke and Lucas would learn before it was too late.

Your child always comes first.


End file.
